i am dreaming...

2011-11-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

I survived, again. It's yet another miracle. Another opportunity. To set my life right back on the track and redeem all the promises I had made to my loved ones. This time, I will cherish this chance. Trust me. Watch me. I can; I will; I must.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

It wasn't until post promos period had I understood the meaning behind this song. I thank my teacher for announcing that I am most likely retaining. The emotional turmoil i went thru these few weeks was indescribable. But I began to view life in a different perspective. I began to realise that results aren't everything. What's wrong with retaining? Retainees' aren't fucked up; It's the society's mindset that is screwed. ["For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."] This enlightenment even went to a point that I already accepted the fact that I am retaining. Of course, despite all these, when the reality is set before you, it's daunting. That overwhelming relief that swept thru me when i saw "ADVANCED"...I can feel my tears.Tears of appreciation. I thank Him, for He taught me how to fear, and then he relieved my fears, and this made me even more appreciative of the grace that he bestowed upon me. Thank You. Really. Truly. Sincerely.

OP in a few days time...Just a few more days. Gotta hang on. I just wish I can find the confident speaker wthin me back. Sigh.

If you want to sleep, you could have just told me. I mean, hadn't i always ask you to sleep without me first? Just now, when you wearily asked: "Can I go sleep first?", I felt like crying so badly. SO SO BADLY. It sounds as if I am a burden delaying your precious sleep. I feel damn fuck guilty. You actually asked for my permission TO SLEEP?! I know you meant well and no other intentions. But to me, it sounds as if I am forcing you to stay up with me. I don't need anyone's company, defintely not a forced one.

Tell me how to sleep with a broken heart tonight.

2011-10-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

Everything’s going to be okay; maybe not now, but eventually.Fly with the wings of time if your wings are broken. Very soon, you will forgetyour pain and soar even higher again. Time, ~~will heal all wounds~~. Oh no, not onlythat, it makes you stronger too. When something awful happens, you either let itdefine you or destroy you. Do you think just this one failure is worth ruiningyour life? There’s more to life thanthat! Strong walls don’t collapse; they only shake. Yes, shake you may, but don’tever give up. Hold on. Stay strong. And you will make it through (:

So this iswhat I’ve been telling myself the entire day and what I shall continueconvincing myself.

Especially in cold water, I just luv it. :>

I can't live, if living is without you.

2011-10-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

Him:

"I’ve seen your vulnerability and all that’s within. The way you cry and try to cling on. Your life is drama, a dangerous thread you walk upon; it keeps some away, those who don’t know what to do when you lose yourself in your fragility. I know your pain, your fire.

I am not afraid.

Let me into your ring of flames. I can handle it. I’ll calm it, soothe it, give you peace. I’m not afraid of your dangerous vulnerability, like shards of distraught broken glass that threatens searing pain. I’ll learn your ways. Let me in."

Her:

You think you’ve seen all there is to know –
Welcome to a new world. A world of bleeding drama and black tears, of desperation. It’s my world, my world, like a dark, burning room. Your world’s too boring; a world you take in with your senses, not by intuitive energy. You think you’re prepared; I’ll show you, I’ll slowly let you into my little tragic room. I’m a helpless, dependent, frail doll. Slowly, I will learn to trust you, to let you hold me in the palm of your hand and control my every move. I surrender my heart, my screams, my tears to you. Vow not to drop me.

She's a extinct yet exotic mummy, living in her own pyramid. But you don't know; you can't see the hidden scars and tattoos underneath the wrap. You can never imagine that pasts that she had bottled up within the pyramid. She's rejecting all those that tried to reach out to her.

Until she met him. Somehow, his passionate love is melting away this plastic wrap. She enjoys this burning sensation yet she don't show it. She's not supposed to feel that way. Pain; where's the pain? She knows that even if she can't feel the pain right now, she will feel it when she completely bare herself to him. Yet, she feel so helpless. His smile. His words. His gaze. His touch. So sincere, so genuine, so gentle, promising her that he'll never hurt her. He's tearing down the paper wall of defences she built around her pyramid. At a unprecedented rate.

She don't know the ending. Neither does he.

Yes, so one day, if you suddenly see my predicted outcome - drained emotions, ceased passion, burdened shoulders - don't say I didnt warn you. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. That's how I see our relationship. I used to prepare and hope for the best; and ~~the flames of hatred that engulfed me , the past that binds me with pricked chains, those sweet moments which haunted my nights, the excruciating pain which i am consumed in~~, I will never forget. I had moved on, let go, but those bittersweet memories will be etched in my mind forever, like a hidden well of scars and tattoos. Occasionally I will take a cold water bath in the depths of this well to remind myself not to make the same mistake again.

"I can't live,

if living is without you."

-Without you, Mariah Carey.

this entired blog post is dedicated to my darling. If he ever understands it. HAHAHA.

And I pray to continue feeling glad for the days to come (:

Insecurities.

2011-10-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

[Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most(like tonight)

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times ( 给我的承诺是即兴的嘛。。。)
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most (but you left)

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close]
And tonight I just can't stop listening to this song. This time, I told you. I said I can't sleep. Frankly. Desperately. I know you are tired. Goodnight then. Just don't make any promises to stay by my side when I need you the most.

为什么每个人劝我不要把内心的针扎与痛苦收藏在心里要我与他们分享。。可是当我终于鼓起勇气说出了心里话你们当初答应过会陪在我身边的承诺全都通通作废？他她他们都一样的。证明我当初反驳你们的立场证明了我当初为什么宁愿选择把自己的心情隐藏起来更加证明了谁谁谁说过要在我最需要他们的时候一定会陪我度过这一切。。都是在说空话。可是也要感激你们。。因为你们我渐渐地学会怎么再一次地把我的心封锁。。

I love Chinese (: As in blogging in Mandarin. It's such a beautiful language.. ^^ I loathe the idea of studying it though. I think education destroys the essence of languages.

Promos is over. Getting back results on.....SIGH. I am not being some emo pessimist shit, but I am tuning myself to embrace the idea of retaining...I don't deserve decent/promotable grades for the lil effort I have invested...

PW. PW. PW. PW. Hell yeeah my life is so consumed with PW ): It's not a life to even speak of. PW is really pointless, useless, worthless. But despite saying this, I still need to ace for it! :P I mean MOE's perception of PW is way in contrast with the students and the importance they place in it...Well, guess I have to accept my fate.. GAWD. Just want to get over PW and....I don't know. Lol.

I miss you a lot. If a hug can represent the intensity of my longing for you, I can hold you forever in my arms. This is some cheesy shit but wtv. Lol. Sigh, but why aren't you here.. i wouldn't have slept if you were still awake. No matter how tired I am. This selfish part of me wish you would do the same for me. But..then, I still want you to sleep. SIGH.This few nights...I really need you. But you aren't here with me. You choose the bed over me. Lol. I don't know what to make of that. sorry..就这几晚就这几晚让我有如此幼稚又不体谅你的想法。。对不起。。。。

有多少次你不顾一切地来看我来陪我我知道的可是我真的不知道最近到底是怎么了怎么会怪你呢怎么会说你没搭到承诺呢我知道我真的知道我没忘记也不会忘记对不起我最近说做的一切让你失望了吧就拿我上一段所说的话还有前几段的说你没陪我的话这些话你看了肯定很失望吧对不起就连我自己都对自己很失望。。对不起。。。

so as i typed this post, i came to conclude one thing : I really love you. <3

2011-09-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

HALO. I am here to water this wilting plant of mine ~

The deranged workload for these two months impressed me by showing how limitless my sanity can stretch. I have been praying so earnestly that I would go over the cliff of sanity and into the abyss of insanity. But it seems like years of military-like life under my mum has sharpened my endurance way stronger than my determination to breakdown.

Sigh. It seems like just yesterday when I was distressed over terms. Now? Promos. Why is it that time is what we want the most, yet what we use worst? Common test was a total flop. My straight Aces goal is at the other extreme end. My procrastinating nature is controlling me like a puppet, entangling the strings of my life. So, now, I am just a wretch lil soul who lost her directions. Since when did this become habitual? I mean, as if getting lost has become my daily routine. And it feels like I did it on purpose…

You know that feeling when you’re just waiting, waiting to get home into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let out everything that you have kept in all day? Nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either, and you’re tired, tired of everything, tired of nothing, and you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay, but no one’s going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting, tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else, tired of being strong, and for once, you just want it to be easy, to be simple, to be helped, to be saved, but you know you won’t be, but you’re still hoping and you’re still wishing and you’re still staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting.

Decided to post on of my essays ~ One of the stories that I think is my best work. ^^

What is justice? In the oxford dictionary "justice" is defined as "being just: fair treatment". However, in their worlds, justice was non-existence.

She emitted a perfidious aura as she sashayed into the room. Her dress looked as if it was deliberately cut right below her buttocks, malevolent men trying their best to sneak a peek. Revolting men were hoping she was the promiscuous sort - her dress obviously showcasing that fact. His mind was in vertigo as he gazed at her sheer beauty - her figure was immaculate in every way. His eyes were transfixed on her ethereal-like face - her mirthful crescent eyes emitted an atmosphere of euphoria. As she sashayed past him, his strong frame turned frail - petrified and astounded by her overwhelming beauty.

Like how a predator observes its prey, she eyed him and watch how he stole looks at her, how he tries his best to appear inconspicuous. She bent down. The angle was perfect: his eyes would roam onto her but his focus will be on -- elsewhere. She pushed her hair back, so that he would get a better view.

"Where is it?" she stood up; her eyed still scanning the floor. "did anyone..did anyone see a wallet.." her voice trailed off. Flustered, worried, and angry: the perfect emotions to draw hua attention and melt his heart. "It’s a brown Gucci..."

"What happened?"

Finally, she lifted her head upon hearing his voice. He looked exactly like the perfect student union leader in university: a short spiky hairdo, chiseled jaw line, suntanned skin and an ensemble of branded goods - an Armani exchanges shirt paired with Levi’s jeans.

She, on the other hand, fit right into the image of the freshman he had always fantasized about in school every day.

"Forget it. Forget it!" she thrusted all her fingertips into her long wavy hair. “It is already a bad enough day. To top it off, there is not a single cent on me to get a cab home!"

Perfect. The events that followed on fell according to his plan. Or rather, her plan. He immediately seized the golden opportunity to send her back home.

Today her name was “xxxx". Before stepping out of her home today, before going out to hunt for her prey, she had already crafted a complete new image of herself: a poor lonely soul who was just ditches by her boyfriend, an orphan since young. The ideal image to fit into the story of the hero saving a damsel in distress. This was her fifth hundred and sixteenth image. The moment she saw him as she entered the pub, she can see it in his eyes, that he was the one she was looking for. The man who have the hidden Courage within him, waiting for someone or something to ignite the spark.

The moment they stepped into her empty flat, he wasted no time. The feeling was mutual; it was obvious what both of them wanted. After they had finished, there seemed to be an deadly silence, like a prelude of what was going to happen. She hesitated on which script to use. After a minute, she dropped her head on the sofa and said, "There’s something I need to tell you." and then she stared at the fruit knife in the coffee table. Today, it shall finally serve its purpose.

"Do you really think you are the predator, in this pathetic game of predation? Well, I am HIV-positive." when she saw how his facial expression changed, she knew it. She knew that after hundreds of men, this man would end it all for her. Like how a predator hunts for its prey, she plotted a strategy: a strategy to kill the beast. Within her soul, a strategy to end it all, to end her. He shall be her azrael- the angel of death-who will slay the beast.

Enmity enveloped his heart as Hades' flames surrounded his soul - how could she do this to him? A deluge of hatred-filled tears moistened the cemented floor as he clenched his fist in burning fury - fury he never thought had existed in him. His soul was cascaded in a wave of indignation as he shook in my seat - as if Lucifer himself had taken over his will. his mind was filled with malevolence - cruel ways that he could use to torture her very being.

She closed her eyes and her lips curled into a smile, a smile that depicts triumph.

His imperturbable nature was taken over by an indignation he never thought had existed in him. The Lucifer residing in him was unleashed when he saw that smile of victory on her porcelain like face. He grabbed the knife in the table and shoved it so fast towards her; it all took place in just a split second. The blade stabbed right through her chest smoothly, as if there was already a groove in them.

The blade, it came. It came towards her, finally. She did not scream, even though the pain was overwhelming. Flashbacks of her misery came charging like a red bull. The mockery she has suffered, the discrimination she has faced everywhere, simply because her mother was a prostitute and HIV-positive. Everyone dictated her life based on her background, even though she was tested HIV-negative, no one believed her. She used to break down, then she started to break others. Many men could not escape from the clutches of temptation, which eventually drove them to insanity.

"I just want to tell at least one person the truth, before the end comes..."She said, struggling with her words. "I am HIV-negative…I was never HIV-positive..I just want to spread the stigma, not the virus. I just want to spread the...fear."

What is justice? Justice is about fighting for you: just yourself. In their world, lady justice does not do her job; they do her job.

Yea, this is one of my proudest piece ever ~ storyline adapted from low kay hwa’s novel btw. ^^ love the twist ~

So much has happened over the past few months. >< 真是一言难尽啊 haha. Omg, Chinese :O influenced by him I guess. Gawd, I ought to stop conversing in Mandarin... ENGLISH SHOULD BE MY PRIORITY. Argh, Fuck GP. I mean I am pretty much in love with English. But GP is extinguishing my passion for English -.- I abhor GP. When an enjoyment become a burden.. Exams are unnecessary, waste of our precious time; wreck both the physical and emotional environment and absolutely an understatement of our capability. If one manages to score well in exams, it just shows that he good in the subject. ONLY. It doesn’t show anything else of relation to our life. Someone who scores perfectly well in exams may not even comprehend the simplest logic of life. Exams stifle our intelligence. It fulfills the opposite of its supposed purpose.

Ok, done ranting. Back to REALITY. Nothing I said above can revert the situation I am stuck in now. So promos is just a couple of days away. And, I have not started my revision yet. I have no hell idea what I was doing this September hols. I felt bored, and guilty. Yet the voice in me is screaming: I need a breather!!! The irony ~ oh wells; the anxiety in me is inexpressible thru words. All I know is that for every single second, I am suffocating. Maybe I should get an inhaler, literally.

I really don’t know who to turn to. Everyone’s leading their own lives and it’s just so difficult and awkward for me to interrupt them with redundant emotional shit.

Tonight, he has his convocation, filming or whatever busy stuff. I don’t know how to tell him that I am in pain. That I am breaking to pieces all over again.

She, too, is breaking into pieces. I should be picking up the pieces with her, and not adding on to her burden.

So many others loved ones, but that’s the point. I can’t bear to draw them into my painful world. What’s the point? All they can do is to throw words of comfort and leave me hanging there. or even worst, my story might spoil their perfectly fine day. They might have finally got thru one day without feeling bad and talking to me will dampen their spirits. There’s just so much I have to take in consideration when I want to find someone to talk to. And, in the end, I end up telling no one and cry to myself in late nights.

I don't want to feel ugly anymore. I don't want to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror just to find another revolting reflection. I don't want to change seven times because I look unattractive in half my clothes. I don't want to worry about if I ran out of makeup because if I didn't wear any I'd look disgusting. I don't want to constanty feel the need to look in a mirror, not out of vain, but to make sure I'm at least decent looking and not ugly like I know I really am. I don't want to go into Facebook look through pictures of his ex/girl whom he liked before, and go thinking that how can he even fall for me? And wish that I couldbe as attractive as them. I don't want to question if I should eat that day or not because it might miraculously help me drop 1 kg? I want to be beautiful. I want to be naturally attractive and have a gorgeous body. I want to wake up and feel confident that I'm pretty. I hate having this body/looks, but more than anything, I loathe and abhor having this low self esteem. -adapted from tumblr.

Dear brain, can you please give me and yourself a break? Stop allowing those thoughts to run wild into the wrong direction. Stop speculating. Stop asking. Stop blaming. Stop thinking about EVERYTHING. ‘Cuz you are breaking my heart again. Ripping in into parts again. And though it is called heartbreak, it feels like every part of my body is in pain.

BLUE MOON TONIGHT

2011-05-31T10:45:00.000-07:00

Yoo-hoo. It has been a gazillion years since I updated this blog. Oh no, centuries will be a better word. Well, can I just push all the blame to my JC? The hardcore curriculum, the intensive CO practices, and the abyss of homework I am drowning in. Given all that, if I still had the time to update this blog, it’s a miracle. Yep, so tonight shall be a miracle (: teehehe.

OH HELL YEAH. If you had already noticed, I am still in CO. haha; I seriously have no idea why I made this choice. Most of my friends thought it was my love for cello. Initially yes. But ACCO’s cello is a full house. FULLHOUSE. Sucks to be me. Lol. And so….i am in zhongruan! Aka Chinese guitar! ^^ SIGH. SO IT’S NOT LOVE FOR CELLO. But it’s ridiculous to say…. love for co? I never ever loved CO. It’s an universally known fact ~ Guess it’s the familial love I loved the most. The surge of warmth whenever I think of CO, how flames of motivation surrounds me whenever I am dispirited and how I swell with pride songs after songs played (: Tough the journey may be, but I know I will turn out stronger. I know, this family is here for me always. Or at least I hope so.

Life’s been a mad rush over these few months. I can’t believe it has been incredibly 4 months since school started in February. Not a single day had I ever slept before 12am. Look at the time now. Sigh. I wish to stop this insomnia cycle too. I wish to sleep too. It’s not like I spend my precious sleep on worthy work such as school work or in books. I spend it on…right. I have no hell idea where I spent it on. Fantastic me. But whatever is, I am still proud of myself for having gone so far. 4months may seem like chicken feets to many of them; it’s not to me though. 4months, so many things has happened. SO FUCKING MANY. Life was a total bullshit; it still is now. There’s a saying that goes: Life will swell after hell. Or did I come up with that myself? Fat hope. I really believe in this. We all do. It has proven true time and again, when we find ourselves smiling at the end of the arduous climb.

Oh wheeee, did I mention? I got two gold in like just simply 2 months of my AC life? Something that JSS could never ever grant me. Face it yeah. The first gold, the historic moment of my life, 0909511, ACCO got Gold! It might not be much of a big deal to many, but who cares so long it is to me! :D I’ve worked so hard to reach this goal, of course, with the unity of ACCO. The sense of achievement, satisfaction, is still lingering in the wells of my heart. The second gold, hoo-ha, Napha! LOL. My standing broad jump has always been a F/E/D at most, hence, I am always stuck at silver or mostly bronze -.- BUT AC ‘s PE teachers’ are a whole lot of professionals. They did not allow me to give up. They helped me. And I made it. 155 – 175. 20 freaking cm. holy cows. Heh, whoever’s reading might just be snorting at this. But I am really happy to overcome this barrier (:

IF. I am saying IF. If I met my target of straight As for A Levels, or maybe say, at least 5As, 2Bs, you know what? I will loudly proclaim you to be the award recipient. Not me. It will be you, who pushes me forward to this dream. Like how you always does for my previous goals.

OHOHOH. TERMS ARE COMING. WISH ME LUCK. I WOULD BE NEEDING IT ALOT MANZ. HEH. EXCITED MUCH :)

This ain’t love honey ~

2011-02-12T08:32:00.000-08:00

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

hi there! ;D haha, hopefuly i can keep this blog going (: well, life's pretty full of highs recently. YAY! had been going out with terrence lately. haha, so fun! went to west coast park, the weather is so hot :O played ball and kite flying ^^ another day we went to settlers cafe ^^ haha, laughed till my stomach ache :P interesting games and all. some of the dares were pretty LOL. teehehe, escaped all the retard dares (; went to 'movie under the stars' or whatever that is, cool and sweee, 500days of summer was really nice. kinda reminds me of myself ~

knew our class alr. its a new start again. *laughs* so used to such stuff, new beginnings environment and stuff. well, the old me would have grunted complained and mulled over it. but now, i have learnt to go with the flow and make the best out of eveything (; patricia is in the same class! ;D *jumps wildly* haha, was rather surprised cuz we took diff comb (: its FATED babe! ;P hahaha. looking forward to new class (;

~~you know those times, when you know doing something is gonna hurt you, and you still do it? well, I never learn my lesson. just love the way i keep asking reality for a slap~~

i fell in love with a stranger -hearts- perhaps life will be happier this way, or so it seems ~

2011-02-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

27/01/11, unfamiliar faces, unfamiliar environment, unfamiliar voices, unfamiliar school. anticipation, dreadness, fear, excitement, with a bucket of mixed emotions, I set my foot into acjc. my choice school, the school where I will dedicate my 2 years of college life to. the welcome was a total WOW. I was like ZOMG, it was the warmest and highest welcome I had ever seen man! The walk-in was totally wild and insane. and that got orientation 2011 kicking off! well, the rest of the days were just as hyperactive, though there was drizzling on the last two days, we are still warm at heart (; camp-fire! undescibeable! if there's ever such a word. formed human trains, randomly connecting to other human trains. sang along with the songs they played. danced around. high-ed around like it was the last day we are living! definitely an unforgettable night of my life!

orientation is over :( it was totally fabulous. memorable; these four days were nothing but awesome-ness. none of the games are clean, dirtyy maximum. sounds cliche,but the way we start a school year is really important. and I am glad orientation started out with a blast. praying earnestly that the coming days of my college life will turn out to be as great. at the very least, no more repeating history of what I went through last year. everyone's telling me that its impossibble, but I am still gonna try SC. nothing is impossibble. the fact that I can even dream about it, proves tt such happenings exist. dream wild, dream big, dream high. gotta give your best shot, and do not give up no matter what. even if you have not achieved your goal in the end, remember tt u didn't failed. and you can proudly tell others : I GAVE IT ALL I HAD.

2011-01-30T01:03:00.000-08:00

hohoho. back to update.

well, jc life has officially started. new chapter of my life :D and it started out awesome! totally fabulous. orientation was a blast and i hope my everyday jc life would feel the same way too! and i am trying my very best to make it right! ACJC!

2010-12-23T17:42:00.000-08:00

hello! back to updating. absolutely boring life. other than work, idk what else to tok abt =.= hahaha.

15th dec:
eeling's birthday! :D sadly, no one able to take leave. :( so we went on a date. went to jp pizza hut for lunch. thn to vivo to watch confession, again. though its e second time, it still thrills me alot. mmuahahaha. twent to diaso to camwhore. :O wad a place! thn hsh.

thank you.

2010-12-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

yo!! updates :D haha.

birthday celebration with kevin jessy eugene wanying yiying eeling patricia. <3 met up with them at jp. got a shock of my life when i saw eugene and kevin. shock TTM! lols. ~ then we went to marina barrage to fly kite :DDD haha. girls were very successful when it comes to flying kite, when we gave e kite to e guys, it dropped down within 5 min -.- haha.e batman is dead! thn aft tt, we spent most of the time fixing e kite, string, wires etc. haha. see how pro e guys are man. thn we went to eat yuki yaki (: crazy eating, combination blah blah/ tnx to our great chef kevin lee. thn hsh. wonderful day [: haha. n their presents were fabulous! geez. finally..a big kiss to pat e organiser for making tis day memorable <3

thailand!!
went to hat yai for 4 days ^^ haha. e routin was like at shop eat sleep. shop eat sleep. how wonderful cn life be. haha. bt i dint bring enuf moeny luh!!! 3000bahts. haha. n i wonder how yvon survived at thai with only 4000 bucks for 13 days!!! lmao. bought alot of stuff :DDD lalala. shop like thers no tmr. of cuz, e last day was pathetic. cuz i got diarrhea ._. great. sian ttm cn. thn they went to eat buffet. its a pity i cnt eat it. :( anw, i see food wan vomit le la. even nw oso. zz. guess i ate too much food. or maybe uncooked food frm e bbq/steamboat -.- but overall. it was rly fun (:

no. you are nt talking abt me. i wish u were. likewise, i feel the same too. how things have changed so much. i wished..i hoped..i want..i need.. but i cant.

i would give up half of my life spam to turn back time. rly.

seeing people change isnt what hurts. what hurts is remembering who they used to be. and i remember, WE used to be WE. now it is you and me. no longer WE.

2010-11-27T02:21:00.000-08:00

hiiiiii! gonna update! :D

outing with shalen kaiqin and tianxiao <3 day =".="">a thousand apologies. no, no amt of apologies can descibe how i am feeling. sucks :X

working at causeway point right now! shiok job. haha. apparently, it is soooooo shiok that i can even be blogging :D geez. but if i transfer to alexandra main branch....i dun tink i can do so anymore! lols

2010-11-17T07:35:00.000-08:00

Went to bugis AGAIN. Rofl. With eeling n wanying (: shopped for wys grad lunch clothes. She damn fussy sia. No kidding. Haha. Walked until legs jelly-ish. Kehehe. Thn finally found it!!!! :DDDD me n eeling was like WHO0! Haha. Thn hsh (:

Emotional. Nvm. Shall go to my private blog.

2010-11-16T08:12:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, I knew I kinda screwd o lvls. Lesson learnt. I AM SO DAMN MOTIVATED TO DO WELL IN A LVLS. LMAO.

As usual, I'm gonna post events tt I wan to rmb (:

Shopping with wanying
On chem paper 1 :D haha. Second last paper but who cares anw? Its like o lvl over alr :PPP had pepper lunch, n we spent e rest of e tym at dais0! Camwhore like theres no tmr. Haha. Esp at the flowers section. Wheee. Long tym since i patuo with her <3

Marina barrage!!!!
With yvonne n cherlyn <3 met cher at imm, i was so damn late, thn we bought snacks for picnic. ICE CREAM!!! EPIC seh. Simply cnt resist magnum ~ thn met up with e bdae girl! Yvonne lim :D by the tym we reach there, settled, bought kite, it was alr 6.30? Hahaha. N we couldnt fly a kite -.- kena scammed by e salesgirl. Thn a realllli cute guy n his gf helped us!!!! N finally, e stingray start to fly. Hahaha. Bt sadly, arnd 30mins later, it got cut, n down it goes :((( bt at least had e thrill of flying a kite. AMAZINGLY, e magnum did nt melt. Miraculously. Haha. Storm started to brew thn we headed down for shelter. Camwhored =D thn hsh

Out laojie n kaiqin
Hehehe. Interesting n fresh combi. Nxt tym we three must go out more often!!! Bought some blouse heels dresses. Satisfied. N i shall keep a secret as to wher we went :PPP

Today. Bugis with tianxiao. Siaoliao, legs walk till soft. Haha. Direct translated arhx..saw wanqi n xianhui. Walked tgt <: dint manage to buy e bag :(((( shall try my luck tmr!

2010-11-16T07:40:00.000-08:00

OMFG. O LVLS IS FINISHED. A
BYEEEEEE.

In the end, e darling who 陪伴着我做最后的冲刺是tianxiao <3 YES. NTH CN EVER EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE N LOVE TOWARDS HER. I rly rly love her. N I am honoured to have her as e friend to run e last lap with me. One of my most impt exams in my life. She was there, when no one else was. The support n encouragement sue gave me, sue nvr knew how impactful it is ~ 在此，对我亲爱的田晓，谢谢你。老婆我永远爱你!!!

2010-11-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

June hols..went ouwoth many many ppl (:

Weini peilin tianxiao :D marina barrage!!! Picnic there. Yum yum. Camwhoreeee like we nvr b4 :D zilian kuang. Hahas. Thn we go er city hall there eat? Ps forget where le. Ate at jacks place. 顺便help peilin Celebrate belated bdae! Thn eveyone else in jacks place started singing happy birthday song . LOLS. So cool eh. Headedoff to the Singapore flyer. First tym taking eh. Excited ~ very nice indeed. Pretty night scenery (: thn on the way back some stalker. Lao giko Lai de, followed us :O:O:O peilin freaked out like hell thn we ran for our lives. Lmao.thn hsh. Memorable day. <3

Shalen n tianxiao. Went to bugis to shop.(: go.neo print. Unglam Shit. Lols. Thn bought shalen's dress. She bought 2 identical one. Haha. Shall go out aft o lvl again (:

YVONNE LIM XIAN TING! Went to bugis,again. Lols. Bt its more of a catching up rather thn shopping. Miss hers lot :( I bought bangles :D n a watch for her (:

PATRICIA TANUWIJAYA. Once in a TRILLION years date. Haha. Bought her god damn belated present. At orchard, diva. Thn wen to tori q to lunch. Hehe. As usual, we discussed abt weird stuff. Hahas. I love her :D haha.

Singapore poly workshop. Gah. Nth much. Lols. Nt Jessie made it memorable (: sadly e.workshop totally spoiled our date. Haha.

SHALEN. XINREN. KAIQIN. YUNLI. ME :D went to.celebrate shalen's bdae (: lunches at fish n co. Very very full. Thn shalen treat us to movie (: toy storythree. :D surprisingly i
IT WAS VERY NICE AND TOUCHING. I went backhome to play with my toys. ~ haha

GE 1. Screwed totally. Unprepared. I flopped. l1r5 32. Imagine tt. Disaztrous. Tt day i went to watch a movie alone. Forgot e title. Soooo un-meaningful. Waste of money. N i swear my results has nth to do wif e critism i said. Lols.

JESSIE ANJHANA. Went bugis to eat pasta maniac. Delicious. :P thn jestreated us to toy story3. 3d somemore. Lol. Anjhana so damn cute luhs. Haha.

Teachers day. Hmmmm..after weeks of turmoil, we finally practised finished gee. Haha. We danced tik tok. Gee. Sorry sorry. Sang THE CLIMB （applause）.haha

Went out with pat again ！:D went to orchard n bought rings at accessorise. (: thn went to vivo to watch e shock labyrinth. Scariest part was tt gt only arnd ten ppl in e theatre!!! Haha. Sat beside a disgusting shit couple. Lol.

Star Career guidance workshop. Funny to see everyone dressed up so formally. Lols. I was chosen to be interviewed; so OMG can. Lol. Last star session. :X lol. I WANNA BECOME A HOTEL MANAGER ;D

GE 2.HUGE LEAP. (: L1R5 19 marks. I improve 13 marks!!!!! :OOOOO shall continue to work hard.

GOSH. I JUST EXHAUSTED my bRAIN CELLS. Cnt believed I had managed to rmb so much. Pardon my English. N if I had missed any of you.

15 more days...

lols. this post was like prepared on 10th Nov? haha.

(:

2010-10-20T01:03:00.001-07:00

2010-05-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

OMG!! i am finally updating my blog. HAHA. siala, ii srsly hv no idea what to post. totally forgot abt everything happened last month. hahaha.

-in the process of trying hard to recall-

ok. i noe i spent most of it with nat. lol.

-now looking at her blog xP-

22nd april 2010.

historical moment man. i actually failed my 2.4km run. WITH NATLAIE. worst still, we were the record breakers. last two. ROFLMAO. we thn went to JP to celebrate this 'victory'. funny shit luhs. corene and jolene joined us afterwards. had dinner at pizza hut (; natalie said she wanna get a bf in poly. but look at her man. her criteria cum expectations were also linked to food. =.= sigh. so typical natalie. HAHA. thn we went to shop for sizhen's bdae present. bought a super junior file for her!

23rd april2010

CIP. newspaper collection at block 161. yongyang's house. lol. teamed up with jessy, wy eeling mengchuan nicholas and yongyang! no play play. we collected a lot a lot. a lot. hahahaha. thn afterwards mr sam promised to treat us to mac, so we 'risked' getting corroded by acid rain and went to the opp busstop to go to mac. HAHAHA. acid rain. lmao. but when we got there, mr sam said: sorry uh, i've only got $2 in my wallet... he scamer! haha. still owe us one! thn me and eeling stayed on in mac. heart to heart chat (; haha.

30th april2010

FIRST GRAD EXAM PAPER! HIGHER MT!! lol. totally flopped for paper one man. totally. i wrote my last paragraph at the last piece of paper. HAHA. exam smart :D paper 2...my copying skills came into hand. hahas. totally chunk the entire passage into the questions man. thn after that met up with nat (; she accompanied me to the centre and waited for one hour!!! miraculously. haha. thn walked all the way from lakeside to jp. singing along the way. haha. so crazy. thn went to NTU to eat ice cream. darn! the ice cream stall duno go where le D; replaced it with ice cream waffles and corn. hahaha. thn home sweet home. reached home arnd 9 -0-

5th may2010

went to jessy house after sch to have lunch. me eeling and jessy. haha. i miss homecooked dishes sooooo much. tht are the best. me and eeling wiped out EVERYTHING. jess was totally stunned. haha. thn went to jp. eeling went back home. me and jess went starbucks to study :D she treated me!! hahaha.

7th may2010

after sch i met up with natalie, corene, jolene, yiying, sheihli, janet, fangru and christina at pizza hut. lol. ordred prawn aglio aglio :DDD (er is this the way to spell it?)lol. thn me and nat went off for our date. haha. walked to safra but found out the kbox price damn ex. thn we took a stroll at the park there. lol. so romantic uh. haha. thn we went to westmall to watch back-up plan. very nice show and amusing. HAHAHA.

TODAY:

after sch went to eat at the market near my house with pat (; haha. i got highest in class for HMT paper 2 :DDD lol. bt damn tyco. lol.

2010-05-12T03:00:00.001-07:00

In the room behind them, a crack in the wall allowed the sun to finally shine through.
He lost count of the days by then. His windowless room gave no indication of the time, and he had no idea how long he slept.

Days morphed into nights without his knowledge.

They found him in the woods, just recently escaped from Orochimaru. He was almost dead, a wound in his side not quite fully healed. They stumbled across him by accident, one of their members needing a piss. He didn't recognize their masks at first. White, animal masks and dark, black cloaks. It almost seemed ethereal, like Death had come. He surrendered to them without complaint. Even Death was preferable to what he had waiting for him should he return to Orochimaru.
There was a movement from somewhere to his left, and then Ibiki's fist seemed to come out of nowhere—it hit his left eye, forcefully, painfully, and lights flashed behind Sasuke's closed eyes. Ibiki turned and brought his elbow smashing down into Sasuke's shoulder—he yelped despite himself, as the pain shot through his body, and instinctively pulled against his bonds. He heard Ibiki tug out his kunai—heard the whistle as the blade sliced through the air—and then suddenly his fingers felt like they were on fire.
"Stay still, Uchiha, and take it like a man."
He bit his tongue, drawing blood, in an effort to stop himself from crying out again—he wouldn't give them the satisfaction. He gasped in a huge breath, before wiggling his fingers gingerly; Ibiki hadn't sliced them off, despite the fact that it had felt like it—instead, he'd sliced into them, cutting deeply into Sasuke's skin. He felt the blood trickle down his palms, dripping to the floor steadily.
For a few seconds, he simply listened to that steady noise—the drip, drip, drip of his blood and the thump, thump, thump of his heart. He listened and everything became okay; Ibiki's taunts faded to nothing and he was barely aware of Tsunade's piercing gaze; all he knew was that if he waited for long enough, they'd go.

2010-04-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

actually a lot of things happen this month. HAHA. oopss. i mean last mth, march 2010 :D

lol. bascially i watched 4 movies!!! = average 1 per week. one with tianxiao, chinqiao n rebecca - NODAME CANTABILE. another with wenxin alvin blah blah - KIDNAPPER. 3rd movie with tianxiao and shuya - THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID and the fourth one, i cant rmb LOL.

BIG HOLE IN MY POCKET!!!!

today april fool :DDDDDDDDDDD HAHAHA. bt tis ys no fun one. SIAN.

2010-03-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

this month............ nth happened much.

OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN BE SO SMUG ABOUT IT, CUZ YOU DUN EVEN NOE WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN SCOLD ME CRITICISE ME, CUZ YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS SMILING WHILE I AM THE ONE WHO IS DYING. IF I DID DISTURB YOUR LIFE, FINE. BUT I DINT. I COULD HAVE CREATED HAVOC BUT I DINT. I JUST STAYED IN MY OWN CIRCLE. SO PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.

2010-03-02T06:25:00.000-08:00

Hello i'm back :D Haha. Rly updating on a monthly basis -O- as usual, only e stuff i wanna rmb shall be posted.

My 2010 Valentine xD -drum rolls-
NATALIE NICOLE LEONG! HAHA. Yes laugh all you wan, cuz i'm laughing too. Crazy me uh. Hahaha. Went to watch that hongkong show. 72tenants? Lol. Idk e name. Hehe. It's a comedy. Although i dun Rly lyk e weirdy plot, but it's Rly funny. Thn after tt go shop shop for Valentines day present (: and in the end, we random random choose to print photos xD Haha.

CNY.
Actually Nth much. Haha. Just goGrand aunt's house for dinner on sat and sun. Long time no eat hotpot :P Anw, all my ang pao give mummy T.T Nvm, not much need for them. Have my own money anw .

LAST SATURADAY, 27/02/2010
went to marina square to see that CNY decoration thingy. but it was alr demolished =.= lmao. thn we argued what to eat and finally... we ate @ JANG SHOU KOREAN CHARCOAL. -smack lips- i bet pat would love it. haha. spent $130++. i paid $50 for it. @#$%^& lol. i wasnt supposed to pay for it k!! bt decided to do so anw since i am old enuf to pay for part of the family meal. i so filial xDDDD

Haha. So much to post. But not at here. Gg to post in my private Blog xD byeee.

2010-01-30T22:59:00.000-08:00

YO PEEPS :D long tym nvr update =X haha. shall only post stuff that i tink i wan to rmb ~

o lvl results. 11/01/2010
i got A1 :DDD lols. first battle down (: lalala. i wish the remaining battles will have the same results too xD n i will work hard to make sure they will. haha. GAMBATE!

tianxiao's bdae. 14/01/2010
stupid pig seventeen yrs old le. haha. though actions still like 3yr old. hehehe. me, julee, wanying, jess n kaiqin pooled our money to buy her a bag (: hahaha. thn aft school went to pizza hut to eat! anjh, me, wy, kq, tx n shalen =DDDDDDDDDDDD

angelica farewell outing. 16/01/2010
went out wid syafie, anjelica, mark, farida, jessy and grace and yongyang :D realise i nvr go out wif anjel b4 :( went to seoul garden to eat. n we met this realy weird guy?, tony. lmao. he had a crush either on syafie or anjel. HAHA. bt my bet was on syafie. lols. gay! we bought a mp3 for anjel and the SHRILLING CHICKEN. haha. anjel's reaction was ----- when she squeezed the wrapped chicken. historical moment totally. n tnx to syafie, we learnt a new word (: : lactate. n yongyang keep harping on it for days. hit out at the arcade aft e meal. lol. we were freaking pissed with e magnum machine @#$%^&*. we got to see how aggressive jessy can be when it comes to drumming. lololol. camwhore at the garden. took looooooootssssssss of nicey pictures. (: blast the sch for nt allowing us to send her off. n even let us off late =X i will miss anjel. promised tt i will go find her aft o lvls :D

pepper lunch wif pat n eeling. 20/01/2010
i wan to rmb tis cuz its rare tt i go out wif pat. haha. n oso eeling. bt the memory of tis meal is kinda tainted wif the presence of some ppl. sight of them ruins my appetite. bt anw, it was nice. haha.

outing wif xueni, yvonne and junhao! 23/01/2010
it has been years when we gathered tgt. haha. went to lot1. me n xn ate at some hongkong cafe. haha. thn yvon n jh came to join us. they dun look like couple to me o.O junhao too shy. HAHAHA. watched tooth fairy. nice! n funny! haha. saw jolene n her cousin at the arcade. aft the movie, we went to take neoprint ;D took a loooooooong time to edit the photos but iiiii love the photos! haha.

movie wif ah wen (: 29/01/2010
got a call from him at 10pm. n he asked: wan go out watch movie? 11:40pm. damn last min man. bt he managed to convince my mum to let me go. haha. watched 14 blades. (: thought it's mostly abt fighting, bt inspiring to me? or rather, i reflected a lot thru tis movie. touching too. e movie ended at 2.. n he sent me back home by bike :D haha. nice experience. had a hearty chat. haha. bet tis is probably the only time my mum let me ou wif a guy in the middle e the night. lmao.

yesterday after am remedial went ot jp wif nat, wenxin, wy eeling and siewbee. ate ljs. thn went to lib to study. throughout the whole thing, i laughed till my stomach hurt. the jokers were sb n nat. hahaha.

the rest of the days of the month, well, pretty boring n typical. will update soon, hopefully (:

2010-01-07T06:56:00.000-08:00

XUENI: EEMIN!!! I MISS YOU ALOT
I MISS YOU TOO BABE <3 one day we meet up at jp ok? (: sorry tt day cmi T.T

alvin: yo tag xP today last day of 2009 le must tag me back horx~
ps!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i nvr use com.lols.

peilin: hello! very long nv c u liao! take care arh!
i will ;D i miss youuuuuuuuuuuu nanny!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharlene: HELLO DEAR! long time no talk ahhh!
lol. we just tok tt day. bt i still wan tok. irritating ppl keep interuppting our conversation = =

ying: EEMIN NEVER REPLY TAG DEEEE
replied :DDDDDDDDDDD hahahha.

Natalie: my indirect cousin also called ah wei gor gor HAHA -.- tagged! ^^
tnx :D lols. scali is same cousin leis -0- hahaha.

eeling: tag visit my blog if not very dead
ok. gg tag now :D

ying: hel-lo tsktsk, told you don't watch horror movie le. scare yourself only. =/ haha, i got sun burnt from going www!
lols. i see siewbee alr scared le, so makes no diff xP

alvin: lol tag xP long time nvr chat le
hahaha. chat? i free anytime to chat de xD

cherlyn: HAPPY BELATED 15TH!
hello sweetheart :D miss you lots lots lots ;(

2010-01-07T06:49:00.000-08:00

hello :D i am back :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

lols. so many things happen -0-

1)
sister bdae
celebratd it at fifth aunt's hse
nicccccccccey (:
bt my stupid sis act shy = =
dun wan take pic =X
lols.

2)
work
lols.
tiring T.T
thn sth happen...

3)
went out with fifth aunt and jefferey =D
fun ~
went to the arcade n played lame games
lame games bt keep me entertanined
hahahaha

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF MY SCHOOL :D
lalala.
gud?
bad?
hmmm...
hmmm..
neutral :D
bt my mood totally spoiled when i tok to --back at home
stupiddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idiot, sms till halfway, thn suddenly go slleeeeeeeeepp!
PIG.!

2009-12-28T23:03:00.000-08:00

last whole week went to je lib with tianxiao :D but... wasnt rly successful. =Xhahahaha. I LOVE HER <3 hadnt seen her for a long time. reported everything that had happened since the last time we met. as usual ~

thn last fri, CHRISTMAS, at night went to jp with kaiqin (: miss her like hell man. and i tink she look hell gorgeous. srsly. changed alot. v.pretty le!! lol. girl in love ~waliked arnd jp a while thn went off to ..... lol, it's an inside secret xP thn walked thru the pasar malam at my hse there. hahas.

went to orchard at night with first, second, third and seventh aunt, peiyi, quanquan, xuanxuan n xiaomei jiejie (: bt.... i wanst rly in the mood.. lols

thn went to orchard again ytd. went to paragon first to meet weini nanny :DDDDDDDDDDDDD hahas. still as pretty luhs (; thn went to eat fish and co thn went to cineleisure to watch ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS. really nice. damn hilarious. haha. great day :D

now at fifth aunt house. lalalala.

2009-12-20T02:34:00.000-08:00

yo! back frm msia xD

went to ah wei kor kor wedding
haha
fun :DDDDDD
he keep crapping say wad i forget him le ==
lol.
thn i said:
i dun even noe you,
how to forget?
lmao

lalalla

i packed my desk xDDDDD
those who have been to my hse should noe how messy it was.
:P
haha
i am damn proud of myself xDDD

"Be yourself. There is something that you can do better than any other. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that."

2009-12-12T22:50:00.000-08:00

Hello :D I am back! LOL!

continuing from prev post:
second day @ class chalet
me, sb, wx, nat n keli went bowling!!!!
N I realize I have a talent in bowling :P
Hahahaha
Or at least btr thn sb xP
Thn went back to chalet to watch ‘coming soon’
Freaking scary
Thn home sweet home with nay (:

Slacked at home the next few days =X

Now at work (((::::
Lols.
Oh ya. i got a new phone :DDD

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

2009-12-09T18:53:00.000-08:00

21st nov;
star tea session.
crap.
rehearsed dance.
go jp buy gift for shanghai buddy.
precious tots :D

22nov;
shanghai trip day 1!!!!
family sent me to airport
first time taking plane *excited excited*
i like it :D
sat beside wy n pat
watched 'the proposal' n 'my sister's keeper'
nice (:
reached shanghai @ arnd 10pm?
freaking cold man
lol
shared room with pat n tx
managed to sleep only @ 3 =.=

23nov:
shanghai trip day 2!!!!
woke up early in the morning
breakfast was -twoot-
lol
ok ok la
e gift exchange ceremony was disastrous =X
haha
my buddy was actually the emcee xD
n she came frm italy
cool ~
i couldnt understand their lessons.
chinese terms :S
lucky got learn before in SG
my buddy name is : louisa -direct translate-
afternoon we went to learn the 'daily morning dance'
total shit shit shit
thn we had dinner
forgot wad we eat
lol
n we went to learn wushu xD
super duper fun
n interesting
n entertaining too
HAHAHA
thn dinner time1
thn we had cultural exchange with the koreans (:
damn nice luhs
our group presented
i spoke too fast =x
lol
bt rest was fun
marlyna got a new bf xP
haha

24nov:
shanghai trip day3!!!!
lessons as usual
bt today was a special day
haha
cuz gt eng lesson
xD
it was amusing
i mean as in how awed they get by a few english sentences.
lmao
i forgot wad we did in afternoon seh
i tink is symposium!
it was boring?
duh
i mena interesting content
bt the lang was too chim for us =.=
after tt we slack?
thn at night we went to buddy's house
me kevin sharlene pat went to shrnl's buddy house (;
thn got some joke gg arnd =.=
so much food man -gulps-
we ate alot alot alot
bt left alot alot alot
lol
went to carrefour aft tt
nth to shop =.=

25nov:
shanghai trip day4!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT.
at midnight one whole group of us went to surprise her xDDDDD
haha
dint attend lessons le
learnt caligraphy
n pottery
haha
disaster
i dun have such talent
unlike kevin ~
learnt how to make dim sums
haha
hilarious man
lazy elab =X
for dinner we ate wad we did
turned out surprisingly nice o.O
hahahaha
thn is the cultural night performance!!!!
really fun n heartwarming man
our hard work ;D

26nov-30nov:
sight seeing blah blah blah
BUT I REALLY LOVE ZHANG YI MOU'S CULTURAL NIGHT SHOW
AND XIHU(WEST LAKE)
bot lots of things
-craps-
lazy elab

LAsT BUT NOT LEAST
i want to thank EVERYONE for their wishes n gifts <3
I LOVE YOU GUYS ;D

at chalet now (:
sian
sian
sian

EITHER THEM OF US.

I AM VERY SAD, PERIOD.

2009-12-05T04:44:00.000-08:00

will post EVEYTHING when i have time
ciao

2009-11-20T00:33:00.001-08:00

busy busy busy.

ytd was a total disaster.
total.
damn.
why can't everyone just cooperate?

if u all think u are ready, then you are wrong. you are ready doesn't mean that we are ready. we are all past of it. how can you all just went off like this?! WTF. eveyone is supposed to be here, to help each other. we haven even get tgt as a whole group. how sure are you that we are ready? SUDDENLY I FEEL THAT THE GUYS ARE RIGHT MAN.

2009-11-15T18:41:00.000-08:00

12 nov:
still went to school
lol

13nov:
dint go to school.
sick
but went to the indian embassy with anjh
lots of obstacles
but fun luhs xD
in the end,
everything settled (; -sobs-
but i have a flu now!!!

14nov:
nth to do
lol
but arnd 5, 6pm
went to play badminton with mc,yvonne,junhao n his fren
went off early
to yipo house
minjia's bdae (:
and also it's joonhui's bdae

HAPY BELATED BDAE LOVE :D

15nov:
went to shar house early in the morning
for shanghai ppt
joked alot
lmao
watched 9:56 again
still got freak the shits out
till i dun even dare go toilet
n take the lift = =
went home @ arnd 9pm -0-

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MINJIA AHYI xD

16nov:
now at star
hope everything pays off
byeeeeee

FUCKER

2009-11-11T19:24:00.000-08:00

11 nov:
lesson was pretty fun (:
mdm priya ms jay ~
hahaha.
physics test..
lol
i dun expect even 1 mark
hahaha
the tour agency came.
n i was looking at the itinerary
n thinking
is it worth $400++
lol

today:
fever fever
bt feeling much better
gg school later i guess
for star
see first bahs.

i lost. but u haven't. continue running. i will be behind you.

2009-11-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

9 nov:
wad did we do?
lol
i forgot!
oh ya, went to view flats with tianxiao (:
it was -twoot-
teban better uh? xP
thn went hommy to study chinese -fights-

10nov:
O LVL CHINESE!
well.. it is bad.
well.. it is gud.
lol.
idk wth im toking
neutral (:
bt we went to jess hse to watch movie AGAIN
lols
9:56
this one is really scary
dint scream for the previous movie
but for this...
i screamed like...
lol.
nice show (;
but it gives me shivers even as im typing now.
lols.

11nov:
HAPPY BRITHDAY SHARLENE HUNNIE <3

gg off to school. cya (;

how are you?

2009-11-07T23:11:00.000-08:00

5 nov, thurs:
rainy day
aft sch went to eat porridge wif shrnl n tx (:
walked there along wih anjh n them
n got ourselves freaking soaked
hahaha

6nov, fri:
mdm priya dint come
released early :D
wenxin, ah bee, anjh n wanying came to my hse to watch movie (:
ALONE - twinny story. much muh btr thn ONE MISSED CALL
CINDERELLA - plastic surgery =X damn confusing movie. but also quite sad ;(
thn wy n anjh went off first
wenxin and ah bee stayed bhind 2 watch jap version of boys over flower.

7nov, sat:
open house
no offence but..
it's a total failure
lol

today:
boring day man
-yawns-
gg study for o's
im off hunnies (:

u have no right to even think about it.

2009-11-04T06:54:00.000-08:00

3 nov:
went to jp with pat,jess,wy,tx and el :D
ate at long john silver (:
yummy
me, el, tx n pat played a game in action city
really lame man.
but coool (:

today:
skipped ms tang's lesson
cuz ______
bt lucky ms tang understand (:
i love her!
n crazy nat too xDD
had a wonderful chat with mummy lim (ms lim) 2day
salute to MASTER LIM :P

i pray every now and then tt everything will turn out fine for you. i hope it does..

2009-11-02T01:31:00.000-08:00

p6 star tea reception on sat
ic for aptitude test
i scored 19/20 :D
the water games was -twoot-
why panel room?
aft tt went to mac with shrnl tx ch junhao mc jessy n yy :D
thn went to shrnl hse (: lol. watched porno. hehe.
the gathering was superb! hahaha. happy belated bdae candice!

now at star. boring.

how are you feeling?

2009-10-30T01:47:00.000-07:00

DINT GET THE CHANCE TO POST WHOLE MONTH SO I WROTE IT ALL DOWN IN MY PHONE. GOOD LUCK IF YA GG TO READ IT ALL (:

OCT 3:
Yo! XD happy autumn festival! XD Hahaha. Went down to the garden to celebrate with JOONHUI, XUENI, JUNHAO, YVONNE, and dearest EETING. Had fun (: Lols. Junhao left early. Thn we sent joonhui back home. And went up her house. LOL. I saw some really cute pictures can! Relished the happy memories we had. MSG cake xP Hahaha. I know thn know joonhui hate venus -Ö- so Omg. Hais.. I miss venus. I really do :( Thn sent xueni home too. And lastly, yvonne ^^

OCT 5,
mon:
boring day, as usual -.-"

got back my compos -Ö- was total shit to me. The marks =X zz. My expressions!!! Tsk!!! Eemin ah! Buck up la. Lols.

Lol. I alr start planning for post-exam activities le xDDD Hahaha. Clique gathering and class chalet!

I still can't finish ss :((

i tink i have let go of this obstacle? I tink yes. All of a sudden, i feel peaceful.. I feel happy. Still, i will continue to harbour hope (: Haha. Yea!

for the first tym in my life, i feel that oreo crush is a total disappointment -Ö- LOL. I shall stick back to honey green tea Nxt tym (:

EOY coming is like officially approaching -Ö-

OCT 6,
tues:
got back prelim results paper 2 (: Lol. Did quite badly as quoted by KOKWEIQUAN! Zzz. How can such bad ppl exist in the world? =X anw, not sad at all xD though i was rather angry @ first. But i tink it was quite immature. Haha. So i cheered up! Come on. I am a human k! Sure to fail sometimes.. Lol. Though i cheer up partly cuz i added 4 more marks la XP Hahaha.

After school went to study with yiying nat and wanying (: but dint study much cuz we left early :X Lol. I go home did study ok!

My wish will come true. :DDDD

very contented with my current life, though it is hard.

OCT 7,
Wed:
After school went to eat porridge with wy, nat and jess (: nicey nicey! Lol. Natalie is a crazy girl!!! Hahaha. A girl with too many defunctioning brains xDDDD that's why she very slow de (: LOL. I pity her (:

Thn we went to mac to study. Saw drey and Tianxiao (: Haha. Study a while thn go home lo.

I am so freaking tired -.-" hope my efforts will pay off in tomorrow's compo (:

IT'S WAR TIME.

OCT 8,
thurs:
first paper -Ö- english! And the compo i prepared came into use xD Haha. I tot i might jus cry cuz the story is srsly very touching... Paper 2 was a killer though =X Haha. Nvm la. Rather satisfied. I happy can le (:

went to pat's house to study. Haha. It was very effective! Surprisingly too. Haha. Managed to learn while having fun (: this is life man!! But thn didn't touch on e math =X die.

OCT 9,
Fri:
i am prepared to die for e math. I let down Mr faydzully -sobs sobs- Hais.. Hais.. Hais! Wonder what will happen to me for paper 2 when i can't even make it for paper one. Ugh. Ss was well....hmmm... Neutral! Essay i like it xD totally what i prepared for. But SBQ... Êhh, did quite badly. Zz. Time constraint played a big factor lo! But Anw, It's over and i feel happy too (:

went to mac to study with Tianxiao and yiying today after exam (: studied quite a lot. Was spamming the post-it notes with everything that i can remember about chem (: Thn homesweethome.

Slacked for a long time! Lol. Started studying at only 10:30 = = and i completed 7 chapters of CHEMISTRY in one day! Though i slept at only 1:45am =XXX but it was worthwhile. Feel a great sense of achievement (:

WAY TO GO! <3>
OCT 10,
sat:
finished off chem. Or rather i am left with metals =X sian! LOL.

I am so freaking tired!!!

I get very distracted easily DDDD: Hais.. I didn't touch on physics yet. Ugh. I feel so..incompetent. Whatever. But i believe i can finish it! (:

i saw a few kids, looks like primary school children (: n they look like they were going home from tuition class. And i tot of SK. Can't think of any one else o.O thn a boy was chased by another. And i was reminded of something. The day that my life started a new phase (: and i just can't stop smiling when i look back (:

studied physics till 2:30am today. Lol. I abit sot sot le. Haha. But still got a few more chapters to go! Lalala.

i love myself. That's all i need.

OCT 11,
Sun:
went to bukit purmei(radin mas pri school there) to eat LOR MEE in the morning xD yummy yummy! Hahaha.

Then we went to labrador park -Ö- Lol. Took lot lot pictures xD we went there so many times.. But why dint we see that side of labrador park? O.o so cool man! LOL.

Had dinner at popo's house. I got a new name :DDD WEILING! / XIAOMIN! Hahaha. So cute man the children.

Looking forward to 31st october barbecue xD it'd be real fun can! Hahaha. So high rite now XP

OCT 12,
Mon:
chem paper was..well..neutral xD LOL. I shall no bear too much hopes on it

physics was total teh sucks. -.-" totally. Damn. It's like no difference whether you study anot. LOL.

went to pat house randomly. But efficiency was really low.. Too too too tired. Jus close my eyes and i 'll fall asleep -Ö-

OCT 13,
tues:
ugh. History. No time to write!!!

E math paper 2. It was quite..quite..er, easier thn paper one -Ö- LOL. I a bit sot le. Hahaha. I tot it 'd be a killer? Anw, dun dare to carry much hope. I'm scared i am jus living in self-denial ...

Went to mac with jess, kevin and grace (: but went back home soon. Went back home to sleep immediately. Prepared to study through the night. Hence, i slept first. Better thn not sleeping right? LOL.

OCT 14,
Wed:
Omg. I really dint sleep. -Ö-
yet for bio, i really did it v.badly. It was soo easy.. Very. But.. Wonder what i had been studying for the prev night.. Ugh.

After school went to Tianxiao's house to eat. Her mum's cooking is superb!!! XD Hahaha. Unlike Tianxiao =PLOL. Thn headed for the library! (: kaiqin came at around 5pm. Lol.

And she went to my house! Lol. Random random.

I lost my goal..

OCT 15,
Thurs:
i already prepared to fail a math.. Hais.. Really.. I feel so er.. Empty. But thn, i didn't put in my best effort.. So i had only myself to blame. The consequences, i had to bear.

Went back home immediately....

Eemin ah eemin. What are you doing? You should have known. Talk is cheap. Really cheap.. And now too bad for the overwhelming disappointment you feel. It's your own fault. Serves you right. Fuck. *deepest apologies for the profanity*

I'm so disappointed in you. This is like the don't-know-how-many times you had raised me up but to let me fall pathetically always with your promise..

Lol. Was browsing thru the free movies i can see for the month in MIO. Thn i say tis: FINAL BOYS OVER FLOWER. :DDDD selected it. Thn.. I was like .... -twooot- japanese version. LOL. The actors are so.... -twooot- Haha. But the lead actress Damn pretty. Haha. Thn i watched it. Lol. Last episode.

Dint finish it. Cuz Tianxiao called me (: n went down to meet up. And end up she in my house. Lolol. Teached her chem! Hahaha. I am so smart -Ö- Lolol. Thn kaiqin came up to get Sth. Chatted for a lil while. (:

OCT 16,
fri:
MOMMY! IT'S OVER ;D

Haha. Exams are finally over (: Hahaha. Feel so relaxed xD

after school random random went bugis with SHARLENE ANJHANA TIANXIAO JESSY :DDDD went to shop shop for Anjhana's celebration (: thn we went to watch 50 days of summer at iluma. So sweet larhss! Haha. Summer! Autumn! Hahaha. Super happy can.
We must hang out more often (: and the sleepover!!

Though it started out to be rather sian, but soon, we hyper le! :D Lalala.

OCT 17
Sat:
went to boon lay market to eat brunch. Lol. I saw kf (: once again, i feel motivated!

Slacked whole day. Ahh. Exams over now, so slacker la. Leading a pig life =X

OCT 18
sun:
went to play badminton with mc and yvonne (:

OCT 19
mon:
bad mood.

OCT 21
Wed:
got back results. Lousy but i expected it :)

OCT 20 - OCT 23
Tues - fri:
AEM at ngee ann poly. Kinda boring, though i like hands on. And Oso, guilty-ly, it seems a bit funny Abt jack that clique joking around with their GOOD fren. Lol. Lazy post everything. Sian.

OCT 24
Sat:
went down to play badminton with XUENI and YVONNE, initially. But xueni didn't turn up so didn't play cuz no shutter cock. Mum found out i brought eeting down and scolded me like shit hell. F***. I'm really angry. Cuz i risked myself gg down when in the end she never come cuz she.. Ugh. Thn i got lashed for nothing.

Deepest Apologies for profanities used.

OCT 26
Monday:
last day of the course. Lol. WE (Wanying n Eemin) got third for the bull's eye competition XDDD lol. Would i miss the days? *bitter laugh* ya, i 'll. The overwhelming loneliness..

New frens. Everyone getting new frens. I didn't expect this to come. How Naive i am.

OCT 27
tues:
went back to school -O- lol. boring luhs. nth much.

OCT 28
wed:
preparation of war games xDDDDD way to go!

OCT29
thurs:
freaking emo cuz u dint get to play in the war game. really. freak. ugh. got the best outfit class LOL.

today:
and here i am, in jessica's house blogging :D LOLOLOLOL. watched ONE MISSED CALL. the ending was -twoot- = =. n now i am watching MY BEST FREN'S GIRL (:

2009-10-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. My eyerings are so apparent -Ö- ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I wanna sleep!! *screams.*
Body
thurs:
was fresh today xD Lols. Though still a bit raw la. =x Haha.

Chem test was.... Well... I should say neutral? Or mayb more to negative side? -.-" but Thn, It's ok :D buck up for EOY thn. Hahaha.

EOY.. I haven't start studying yet !>.
After school, really lonely.. Very.. But it set me thinkin a lot.. And i jus feel that life is much more peaceful. Haha. I always think this way just that the realisation was especially strong today (: all i need is myself. Lol. Sarcastic but true anw.

EOY! Lol. Ignore that exclamation mark, cuz i don't feel the same way too XP is tis bad or good? Bad as in i m not worried about EOY. Good as in i am not stressing myself xD Haha. See the irony? I guessed it is good! xDD Haha. I am just crapping la!

i can do it! Jiayou!

Fri:
yohoo! LOL. Generally fine day (: Haha. I noe how to do a math xDDD super happy. Can you believe it?! -Ö- a math! A math! A math! Haha. But Tmr i need go back school for a math remedial -.-" to spam NIE teachers with qns. Lame la.

We wanted celebrate natalie's bdae. Everything was ready.. Bought the cake blah blah. But thn.. NATALIE NEVER COME!!! Haha. In the end, video called her and sang bdae song, blew the candles, made a wish and we ate the cake xD Haha. Saved some for nat and passed it to sandra (: Lalala.

(pics)

I am not myself today.. Ugh.

EOY! Lol. I'm still not urgent about it. But i got study la, i guess. Hahas.

BFG! My only comfort of the day.. Saw BFG anw:DDDD so happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Hahas. Motivated! xDDD Haha. Lalala. Anjhana! Don't be jealous XP

Today's study group was a success (: whoo. I am so high ^^

奇迹会降临的..

Sat:
decided not to go to school. Hehe. Bt i 'll study de! Rest assure xD Hahas. Wondering why some people have to fake it? They did study, yet they say they didn't. They are smart,-obviously from their results- yet they claim is jus lucky or only for that particular sub. Is it that hard to admit? It's gettin on my nerves man.

Slacked my day off =x stupid __. I wanted to study de, Thn __ chose the wrong time to call me -.-" Thn i no mood to study le. Not no mood la, just random random dun wan study lo. Lol. Still put the blame on __. Haha. He disturbed my Êhh centre of attention!

Burning. Raging. I like it.

Sun:
went to NTU to eat xD i miss the ice-cream! And miraculously, it was open! During day time! -Ö- normally is only available at night! Haha. But the serving become very small le =( still it was super delicious *smack lips*

went to study with kaiqin again at mac (: Haha. A math-ing again. Lolol. Gg intensive physics Nxt tym i tink. Once again, i saw jiayi and ziqi they all (: and i saw someone else too. I guess. Thn i become very panicky -.-" zz. All maths calculation wrong =x

i saw stella xD (: Haha. At my house there de coffee shop.

main goal in life now: to make other people happy (:

Mon:
Body Took 246 to school. And i sat at the lower deck, surprisingly.

Ok. This is totally random -Ö- if i had money to reply some messages, i 'd reply these few:
to him, dun say sorry. And i oso won't accept. Cuz the hurt is done.
To her, Haha. Welcome honey (: love you <3
to her, i Dunnie u to change. Jus be happy..

Today a math lesson was as funny as ever xD LOL. Mr sam super joker larhss -Ö- Hahaha. He started the lesson with a 'thank...'' Haha. Thank you class xD Lolol.

Bio lesson Oso funny. Cuz got miss lim and maizheng ma. LOL.

After school went to study with kaiqin and wy (: couldn't absorb anything.. Hais. Next tym wan go fav hangout le =P Hahas. I srsly can't study at taman mac >< and i need to study with music too. So dependent. Hate it =X

i was super touched *teary teary* cuz Tianxiao invited me to her house *sobs* thank you xDDD

it isn't time for all this now girl. Please weigh your priorities. It is still not too late to wake up. And when you're ready, i am here to race towards the finishing line with you (: jiayou.

I know you love me too much to hurt me. It hurts me to see you in this state. So, please, please, wake up from your trance now..

Tues:
ran 2.4 for PE today -.-" Wth. Lol. But i guess it did me some good when it comes to height and weight XP Hahaha. I lost one kilo. *jumps screams* :DDD so sad dint get to play any games :( but Thn Nxt week still got pe i tink? Yay!

Mdm priya dint come today. Nevertheless, she 'd never forget Abt us. Lol. Left an essay for us to do. Secret. Tot of an idea, dint have tym to write it down. Haha. Real joke la. Only few ppl handed up. And ended the lesson with laughter (:

after school, went to mac with kaiqin and yiying (: did a few a math qns only. But it was worth it. At least we did some qns ok. Haha. Syafie and grace were there too. Asked them one particular qns. Caught them pulling their hair in frustration xD Hahaha. Super cute la them.

SYAFIE IS OBSESSED WITH HIMSELF. HAHAHA.

Oh ya! Suddenly remember Abt Sth that PATRICIA mentioned at morning assembly. Haha. Scandals Abt some secondary school. ROARS. Anw, what can you expect for that school? Lol. Eee

I noe i will get thru it. I will. Because you are here for me..

Right now, i don't wish to tell anyone anything. Sorry, cuz It's my way of protecting myself.

Wed:
was looking forward to chinese for our prelim papers, but that @%*! teacher dint give back as promised. Wth. Super Sian de can. But she say she gg give us back Tmr :D hope she keeps good her promise =(

my chem results sucks. WTF. Ugh. A whole shit of careless mistakes. Ugh. Nvm. Stop finding excuses. I am incapable. I feel like slapping ppl man. Please la, if you have the capability, Thn don't show off that u don't know anything. This attitude srsly irks me. *pukes x infinity*

after school oral. I swore i did prepare myself. But i started stuttering when i talked. Ahhh! I wasn't like this before. What happened?!

thurs:
lazy update =x lols.

i am really tired. but i am really happy :D

2009-09-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

tues:
met jianie in the morning (: and random random commmented on our school buses in rulang xD haha. i take number 6!!! XDDDD

nothing extraordinary happened. VERY SIAN LA. oh yea. PE. we bball-ed like rugby-ed. lol. i shd recommend a rugby gals team to jessy XP siew bee in my team -0- tt's y we loss pathetically. == ROFLMAO

after shcool wen mac study with yy for bio. (: really did mugged ok! haha. thn off to aunt's house. ((((:

i dropped malay... i am happy (: and it's enuf. i saw a mum screaming and hitting her small boy in the public. everyone was looling at her. i feel like slapping her =X i was like so angry lo. but i had no right to do anything.. wonder how the boy is now??

today(:
extra extra tired...

one day.... i am waiting... for that day.

mugging hard for chem today ((::: hahas.

BFG <33

2009-09-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

AIYER... so lazy update my blog =x

dint do my homework -O- how?!! hahas.

eoy coming le. everyone JIAYOUS! (:

2009-09-09T00:54:00.000-07:00

some people just don't care what others feel.

people like them. i am speechless.

selfish.

should i just post their name?

ugh.

2009-08-29T03:37:00.000-07:00

back! :D

finally, finshed sabb! is this happy or sad? gg back school nxt week =X is tis happy or sad? lol. guess i would miss the food, the 1 r break blah blah. haha.

i am so damn tired for the past week! caught up with all my sleeping day. lols. gg to do hmw i guess. boring life.

there's a new member in my section !!!!!! *jum jump* *claps claps* *cheers cheers* haha.n it is a boy-O- the only one. haha. a super cute junior which i suspect he n vanessa is... haha. anw, welcome GUOYI :)))

what happened ytd was the last straw. sad t0 say, it was my cca who drove me to the corners. tnx to my cca, i found a new way of survival : HATRED. how great it is uh? tsk, i can't believe i hate cello right now. ugh, whatever.

I AM POSTING THIS HERE SO AS TO INFORM MY FRENS I AM CHANGING, SO DUN BE SURPRISED.

i hate JSS.

2009-08-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

Well, a pretty fine day. lol

twisted my butt on the stool during the lesson (trying to catch notes n watch the teacher) for n times. End product: polished stool (: LMAO

the guys were squashing bananas like they nvr do so before. Haha. Tt totally ruined my appetite for lunch =X joke.

basically, today's program was just a repetition of what we did during star last year with a different scenario. Lol.

I hate jasper loh ding hui. Must he say till so ... Those ppl from tt old clique, they are all of the same kind isn't it? Insulted by three of tt old clique members. Freak.

Oh ya oh ya! I forgot to post this! I went out with my sister and yvonne lim shu bin on saturday night XDDDD Haha. Was late as usual ~ i overslept! Lols.

2009-08-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

God decided to have mercy on me once more.
He decided to relive my pain once more.
He saw it.
And as always,
he bestowed a rain for me.
how i miss the smell of rain
the color of lightningand
the roars of the thunder

I stood by the window in the middle of the night.
And listened to the rain.
Smell it abd
watch it grow.
Along with 'kiss the rain' playing by my ears.
I dint want to sleep.
Finally,
the rain was harsh enuf
lightning powerful
thunder fierce

thn i switched songs. To 'one minute one second'. And kept replaying it. Just bear to pause the song.

I am not sad, or emoing. I am at peace (:

i hope it would be worth it (:

i shall end my post with a quote again :]

success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is then the key to success. If you love what you are doing now, you are successful (:

2009-08-21T20:34:00.000-07:00

Got back e math result XD full mark! I am so high! Whee! i feel glad (: Tt's a temporary solace for me. Haha. overall, our class did pretty well. keep up thegood work guys :]

Nxt week gg hwachong! -Ö- Lols. I feel excited! Haha. I being lame. Anw, weiquan said he will be really happy if we not there :( zz. Lols. Whatever la. Gg see shuai ge. A common thought shared with mrs ng :D LOL. Real joke seh.

Will i miss school? Haha. Lols. A math lesson was a real joke man. Went to com lab. A lot ppl log onto facebook. Hahaha. Thn began fighting for mdm priya. ROFLMAO. Thn oso snatch yongyang n junhao. Hahas. Com lab lesson not effective de la. Still, it was fun xDDDD

both lang compo test was a total failure. Totally. Hell of a shit. -.-" Anw, i am not gg to choose that qns for chinese compo. So who gives a damn? Lols.

I am alrightyy now! XD Lols. Tnx arhx to everyone who asked me to cheer up!

'LOOK FORWARD TO A BETTER TOMORROW- weiquan (he aint a saint though) Haha. Idk why i quoted what he says. No one else xP

i shall end my post with a quote (: more intellectual thn weiquan de. Hehe.

One of the greatest achievements in life is doing something what other people say you cannot do.

2009-08-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

Got back my a math results. 19/35 i.. Am speechless. I guess i dint put in effort.
i feel..hurt. disappointed. cheated.
He smsed me! I am supposed to feel super high. Higher than when - smsed me. But, i dint feel anything. Nth. And i accidentally deleted the msg. Tt's how dejected i am. What i have been wishin for happened, yet i felt nth. I felt Nth except for the lethargy burning within me.
questioning the true meaing of frens..
I wanna go cambodia. I wanna help those kids. Wondering what would i have done with i were those kids. I dun tink i could have taken it. I have no idea why i posted this. It was a realisation long ago. Just that i feel like posting it now. There's a burning desire in me to fly to cambodia right now. Siem reap, tonle sap. All these places. I want to bring a change to their lives. Is that possible?
substitute?
i hope i can do well for today's compo test n chinese compo test too >.< hais.
i hate it when poeple doubts my character. n it's not worth it to put in so much effort..
these days shall be of emo posts. sorry!

i will cheer up de :D

2009-08-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

Did something crazyin fri. Woke up at 4:45am, washed up thn went to fetch Tianxiao thn we went to.......
PLAY BBALL! At tjcc. Haha. Shiok.

But we have a consequence to pay for though. Jus couldn't pay attention in class. Sleeping away xD

got back physics results -Ö- tt was really fast! Êhh, 19/30 =x bad. But Nvm! Nxt tym will improve!

After school, went to CO. Usual crap. Haha. I want to 考级！but too exp le :( Hais! Anw, i rather take abrahms. Heh..

After CO, me n Tianxiao went to the davincithegenius exhibition (: super super nice. Interesting. Totally awed man. There was so much things to see, yet that was like only a bit of davinci's work! Amazingly -Ö- found out the 25 secrets of monalisa. Haha. I fell in love with a painting, THE LAST SUPPER. the message was presented in a picturesque way. Though i aint a christian, but i like the hidden meaning behind it. There's still a lot, but still nth can be compared to the last supper! Muahahaha. Davinci is a left hander! Me too xD ok, that doesn't mean anything. Lols. But we do have another thing in common. Passion for music =) the golden ratio kept me laughin all the way. Cuz Tianxiao was like trying to measure me n herself. Haha. We are so imperfect man. But it's those imperfect that make us perfect isn't it? (:

can't wait to take back my common test results! Lalala.

I just can't find words to depict the emotions running through my body. 'Positive' shall sum them up i guess.

went to work ytd. damn busy. no tym use com :( haha. i m using now anw :P hahas. i was sitting on the MRT back home. thn a group of teens was talking at the top of their voices = = thn when i woke up. the aunty beside me asked me: "ears painful hor?" LOL. random ~

2009-08-12T08:05:00.000-07:00

i give up. i am not studying anymore. sorry. i feel that i have let myself down. unforgivable sin. i gave up. sorry.

i hate it. i did something i hate today. to see if my predicton will be true. i will cry if it is.

crying for studies. fucker. i hate this eemin.

tears. free flowing. who can understand how i feel? passive.

i just can't explain this phenomenon..

i officially declare i am tired. just hope the day when i stop hoping won't come.

2009-08-08T03:20:00.000-07:00

i am back!!!!

wellll... sunday's carnival was a success i guess? ;Phaha.

dint attend school for the whoile week except on monday! ;D cuz i got INFLUENZA LIKE ILLNESS. it was terrible. i just couldnt eat anything but i was really hungry =x n i couldnt drink plian water. forced to drink some weirdo poison ~ ugh. now i am back on plain water. :DDDDDDDD i was jumping like i got ehhh... straightAs. super happy. the power of plain water ;D haha.

but i am still having a headache n slight fever :( how am i gg to revise for common test...

2009-08-01T04:15:00.000-07:00

mood: sad + disappointed + bored
current activity: blogging + blog shopping

hais.. hais.. hais.. i want to go out!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-31T20:33:00.000-07:00

i am updating on a weekly basis >.<

mondAY:
ehh. wad did we do arhx? lols. uneventful bahs.

tues:
went to jp with shalini, yiying, jess and chekhui and pat. met up with marlyna n she showed me some dresses. extraordinary. lets go for quality xD thn went to mac with yy,ch,shalini and jess. crapped. and shalini told us ab the maggot cum curry sauce story *pukez.

wed:
nth happened. boring life. lifeless. oh ya. sth happen! which reminds me eeling pat and wanying of corrupted teachers :P hahas.

thurs:
after school went to mac with pat jess n yy. joked like hell. n i dint realise i was using green pen for hmw!!! =.= yy tot it was my style ~ so she dint say anything. LOLS.

fri:
cca. that asshole. =.=" after tt went to meet up with xueni. and she bot joon hui and junhao along =.=" i feel like killing her man. lols. hAD dinner with them. bt din eat much >.<

i will prove this f***ing sch wrong. i hate it.. hate the way they condemns our lives. sooer or later, i will be setting fire on this school man. anw, it is not the f word i am refering.

关心 - 是你的习惯，那关心我呢？i am really really...

confused,sad and disappointed...

2009-07-26T02:03:00.000-07:00

i lazy update sia! lols. oso,i can't update. hehe. ok la, updaing now..lols

monday:
skipped school :P apparently, i hit my fragile head against th corner of the table. i feel giidy, hence my parents decided that it was the best for my to stsy at home for further observation (: aww.. haha. buy my story? o.O lols. hehe. met up with wanying,kaiqin,gladys,victor and joby in the afternoon >.<

tues:
backed to school!! priya dint come o.O mon oso nv come. finished up hotel rwanda. shd have came to school on mon =.='' lols. rather nice ending n oso plot, from what i heard. after school went to jlp with kaiqin and victor xD in conclusion: adventurous day. LOL

wed:
hmm.. emo day :( her qns left me speechless man. still shaking even now. ugh. stupid larhhsss. badly affectd during listening compre .... hais.. after school went to mac with tianxiao and yiying :)))))))) haha. LMAO there. cuz tianxiao is a real joker man. hahas. yiying can testify for this. xDDDD

thurs:
presented bio. sian. fyi, tt's the worst presentation i had ever done. not that the ppt got anything wrong or wad, the problem lies with me :((( hais. hais. hais.

fri:
went to kfc with yiying,pat,jess,anjh,eeling and tianxiao ^-^ lalala.thn after that i went to meet xueni O.O to.... lols.

sat:
slacked my day off!!!! muahahaha. thn arnd 6pm yvonie smsed me, ask me to join her at je library. lols. i so steady can! i flew there. though i took one hour xP hahas. crapped with her. went to eat kfc again at jp. with her. n........ ROFLMAO. unbelievable. hahas. thn we met mum on the bus -0- haha. i owe you one gal. (:miss her like hell man. haha

tag replies:
kuanhong: okies xD

yiying: updated le!! (: haha.

alvin: i tag back le hor! lol

natalie: of cuz i am coming!! jess giving treat leis!! plus it's national day. i very patriotic de can :P did i just say tt? haha.

2009-07-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

i would never want to get out of the dream.
i swear.
never.
i just want to be sunk in that beautiful plot.
forever and ever.
i knew i was dreamin
i srsly know.
yet,
i don't care.
sorry.
that's me.
even if it is just a dream,
a lie,
an illusion,
i choose to ignore the truth.
once the sweetest dream ever,
now heart-wrenching to look back at it.,

spare me.
i can't take such hopes.
cuz i know it's all part of my wishful thinking.

what's wrong?

tired. just for today. sorry.

tryong to get out of a shadow of doubt.

2009-07-18T03:21:00.000-07:00

lazy to update -.-" but i missed blogging!! lols. contradicting. i am fine. lols.

mt o lvl oral was a total - . it was surprisingly.... surprising. crap.

i hate people who think they rule the world. i hate it when they act like it's their world. i simply loathe the way they destroy others lifes. why can't they just mind thier own business? you think you dominate ---? uh? please, narcissm may be good, but for you guys, you are shameless bunch of ppl. stop being arrogant. revolting. you don't have the right to look down on others. esp someone you don't even know. you think looks is all it counts? gosh, take a look at urself in the mirror. i may be ugly, bt i do noe how to judge ppl. and the following statement i am going to make is not just one-sided, lots of ppl agree with me too. you guys are super ugly. super. except of some of you. even so, all of you have a ugly heart. imcomparable even to a dog. don't act so high up. u noe how shameless you all can get. you do. what you guys did was way shameless than wad she did. feel like slapping you guys. ugh. wake up man!!! can't take it anymore. the way you all put down people. so, stop it. idk y i am wasting my tym on you guys, bt the victim invloved is my fren. a good fren. so, i would go to lengths to get back at you guys if you don't stop. i am capable of doing what i say. idc the consequences if you guys push me off the limit. and what i do, the consequences on you guys will be irreversible.

back to my life. lols. super sian de leis. i am working now, yet i did nth. -.-" lols.

you neve fail to make me smile.

as long as it believes.

2009-07-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

Went out with tianxiao on sat. Whole day! -Ö- Lol. Hanged out at bugis (: bought some stuff. Haha. Had lots of fun xD lalala. Thn after tt we went to changi airport to meet the shanghai ppl. Super happy. Hahas. Bade farewell thn homesweethome ^-^

lazy post pic sia. LOL.

will post more pics nxt tym. all in my camera. lazy upload. hehe

happilyy ever after

2009-07-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

long tym no update le. no tym -.-" i shall saa tis is an eventful week xD

monday:
went to swensen's to celebrate wanying birthday with vic, cal, kaiqin and wanying (: haha. super fun. though i burnt my pocket. haha.

tues/wed:
nth happen i tink.

thursay n friday:
Lol. Shanghai ppl came to our sch on thurs. Super sudden can. Thn i got a buddy xD Haha. Her name is xinyi (: first day spent tym wif them for less thn an hour :( so goddamn sad man. Thn second day at first supposedly onli one hour, but Thn me marlyna pat tianxiao Anjh got choosen to go jlp with them xD Haha. No words can describe my feeling thn. Super(x infinity) happy. Haha. Thn after tt, they went to eat a $250 meal. Me yiying n tianxiao waited for them cuz we holding to the alumni room key. Thn we said our farewell to them. Aww so sad. Haish.. Haha. Still, i managed to give the presents =) Hehe. Marlyna's partner super cute, danning (: Haha. Still got wy's buddy like boys over flowers's female lead. Haha. Tianjiao (: n Anjh's buddy, liru. (: still got many many more! XD LOL. LOL. LOL. Can't wait for november ^-^

life can't be any better (:

2009-06-27T04:32:00.000-07:00

went to town with frens ytd (: lols. gossiped like hell. shh. haha. abit sian la. but the later part cheered me up. lols. lucky pat was there to save my day xP hehe.

i hvn done my hmw yet. shit.

neer ending happy days uh? xD

ahhh..sch's reopening. lol. sad. happy?whatever. just get the semester over and ov hols is here :D lol. i am thinking way too far. but time really flies (:

oh well, i really waste my hols. -.- anw, its my choice (: bt didnt realy waste it. its a memorable one in fact ^-^ fond memories of STAR CAMP!! NUS CCC CAMP! MSIA TRIP :D haha. awww... really miss y camp mates ~ esp my cousin. jkjk. hahas.

oh well... enjoy the last day of hols frens :)

2009-06-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

Whoa. I still Hvn start on my hmw yet. Rly slackin my days off sia. Hehe. Nvm la. I still have tym xD Haha.

Obviously by coming up with tt excuse, u can do wrong things wif a clear conscience. You jolly well noe tt she's not the reason. Can't believe u r so selfish. Or mayb i understand u. But can't u be more understanding? U r gg to pay a heavy price for wad u did! Let tis be a lesson for you gal. You are at fault tis tym. Do u noe u might drove him to the end of his tether? Haish. U Shd Hv been more mature. Can't believe u did tt. Hope u can take in my words. Sorry, kind of scolding u. But jus telling u the truth..

Slacking my day off today! :D heh.. LOL.

hey loves! deleted my private blog alr >.<

i love my everyday life (:

2009-06-22T19:17:00.000-07:00

Muahahaha. Back from msia. Man, Tt's an totally Effing fun trip or u can say relaxing (: learnt a lot thru this trip ~ so glad i chose tis over hmw :P haha. I got to know one new cousin. Profile: female, 4yrs old, my fifth uncle's child, both parents working hence they pay my seventh aunt to take care of her, bad temper, but cowed at the sight of my seventh aunt and her husband. LOL. Real cute gal. Just that she's a bit overbearing? Ah Nvm, her cute-ness is enuf to cover up her flaws :D slacked at home frm tues to fri -.-" super boring. Haha. But there's a joke for me to live on for tt few days. Mingming hugged zhiying when he was sleeping! -ö- haha. Kept teasing him, throwing names onto him and announcing them husband n wife xD LOL. Real joke. But went out to shopping whole day on the last day, sat ^-^ bought some clothes n ---- i luuuuuv my third aunt, fifth aunt and seventh aunt sooooo much! Haha. Happy moments nvr last.. So sad i had to come back so fast :/

sunday went out for a shopping spree with third aunt :D Lols. She wanted to buy almost everything for me, but humble me rejected. Haha. Still, i bought some clothes (: Hehe. I did Sth crazy ytd -.-" i pinned up my fringe today n went out. Imagine. Whole day. Couldn't believe i did tt. And i shall cont wif it? GAH. So unglam. =x see first? Most prob i 'd. As for when sch reopens, i Wnt be that sure. Haha. And when third aunt dropped off at city hall, i swear i almost cry ;(

OMG. My hmw! -.-" nah, not in the mood. Haha. Gonna put it off for another few days. Then again, how many more days i have to waste?

I am really happy with my life now, and more than contented, no words to express myself. But, i am happy. (: n i don't plan to disrupt it, neither do u. Understand?

Yo fren! I am back. ÜR spamming msgs hor.. Tsk. Just dun give up k? Bear with it. Jus bear with it. U can't change the situation. But u can make the best out of it! Though i can't promise forever, but i 'll be here even if the whole world lets u down. 你不能自暴自弃。不能这样消沉的过日子。因为你得待在这个家，你没有别的出路了。没有别的选择了。There's nth else u can do abt it. 你可以在痛苦与快乐之间做选择。看我，我选择后者，现在我都开开心心过每一天啊！you must be strong k? All i can do is to say all these whatever crap. 经验谈. Lol. Not much i can do oso. Lols. I am not a boy :P anw, u dunnie boys. Haha. Difficult route to take, but u can do it. Definitely u can. If i can, y can't u? 一定要以一颗宽容的心去面对他们. Swallow the words tt u wan to scream. U noe those words hurt. Scream to me if u wish to. Dun keep it inside u. I noe how those words 'll haunt u n give u a terrible headache. Let it all out to me. Cry if u wish to. But onli to me. No one else.

2009-06-16T19:36:00.000-07:00

Eeyer, my bball skills sucks =x lol. I have alr accepted tis fact long ago. Haha. Ytd bball session not very fun leis. Lols. Nth de. Haha. Bt got c shuai ge. Lol. N oso i saw pat n eeling! :D i miss her soooooo much! Oh ya oh ya! When i took 99, guess hu i saw? Haha. OMG! Ahhh! If onli i was 2 yrs older :x Haha. Right, pat?? Hehe. Bt Nvm la! I abit sot sot de. LOL. Pat ah, So sad u weren't there sitting wif me in e bus, or else u 'd have fully understood wad it meant by 七十二变. Hahaha. My face did so -ö- Lol.

I am gg into msia 2day. Yay! Though it means my hmw 'll not be done. LOL. It Wnt be done anw even if i stay in sg. Haha. Dun miss me peeps! ^-^

don't waver. Don't let the new built wall crumble. It's not worth it. Hold on there gal (: jiayou. No matter how lonely u r. No matter wad. U must hold on ok? ^-^ i Wnt be there for u. I Cnt. Sorry. Life is like tt. No one can be there for u forever. I noe u understand de :D u r a strong gal, intelligent one too. Think over what i say. 'll get back to u asap when i come back. Take care <3>

Happy day everyday =D

It feels surreal..

我爱我的大提琴

ich die Liebe mein das Cello.

je amour mon violonchelle.

yo amor mis violonchelo.

io devozione il mio violoncello.

Eu amor meu violoncelo.

as i look back at my memories, the past messages, i found myself smiling... no longer crying. i am so glad that i am happier now (: haha. n i realise frm the very beginning, i am alr called a small kid xD haha.

i love summer..

2009-06-15T18:41:00.000-07:00

MuaHahaha. Ytd Idk y jus very happy lo. Lol. Mayb bcoz i starting of e day very good ba :D Haha. It was a fucking boring day =x There's no words to describe how i felt Ytd. Empty? Nah, Sth harsher. Wasted one day -.-" come to tink of it, feel like slapping myself. One nice day jus gone like this! Ahhh. I felt like a wastrel, coz i Hv been wasting e.g time, money. Damn. Still, i was happy ^-^ lol. Contradicting ~

yay! Ltr gg play bball =)

omg. i accidentaly added my whole fb frens in msn :X n ow some spanish guy is scaring the freak out of me. weird. bt oso i made a lot of new fres ^^

tag replies

arrivind: LOL. Welcome to my blog ^-^

gladys: linked :D

natalie: Idk :( no tym sia. N no money TT Sian ah! Ahhh. Nxt tym change pepper lunch to seoul garden. Anderson to hudgen dusk. Ok? xD Thn clothes shall remain as clothes! ^^ haha.

minjia: yea. my sentiments too. lols. happi hols ^^

happi days forever frens xD

跟我不熟....

ahhhhhhhhhh.. i cnt upload photos =X stupid larhs. lol

2009-06-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

Decided not to post emo stuff today :D but but but e prev posts all emo meh? Lols.

Everyday stay at home very sian ah! Haha. Bt thn go out oso restrained :x no money. MuaHahaha. Lalala. I miss my cello sia. N bballin. Ps ah, tis few days, i wanna stay at home. I oso dk y. Lol. Ps!

i will try to smile everyday ^-^ n i will hold on to it. Try my best to =) promise. Lalala.

WHAT TO DO TODAY?! RAWR!

together, a veritable fist of defiance, we stand immune to any onslaught!
ROFLMAO. I simply love tis sentence man.

Today mayb gg into msia -ö- or Tmr? Lol. Thn i can c beloved cc n py! N of coz mm. Hehe.

I miss camp! ;>

Whoa. Tis is a super random post. But who cares? ^-^ i love random (:

lol. Ytd night Idk y, all of a sudden, became depressed O.o? Bt i saw Yiying's msg, haha, thn cheer up le :D funny leis. Lols.

Hmmm.. As i type tis post, i am all the more determined to be happy everyday. N i will. As long as is i wan de, sure can de. 我是谁？刘依敏 lei! Haha.

Häpþý always =) smile always ^^ yay! Tis two quotes has become my er, er, er, sign? Lol. Whatever ~

Lol. Very positive le hor. N It's rly natural de!! (: not bcoz i wan u to tag thn post de. Lol. Soooo, TAG!

Hmmm.. Mayb i jio anjh go ntu 2day to eat? O.o bt i no money le. Eat wad? Zzzz

2 more weeks to go! Actually, tis shd be e starting of my hols. Bcoz prev 2 weeks busy wif camps ma. Oh well, june hols, i am here. Haha. So lame

2009-06-13T02:02:00.000-07:00

Hohoho! Back from 文化营! ^-^ Haha. Just can't stop laughing/smiling whenever i tried to rmb e events of e first day till last day. We had so much fun!

First day:
splitted up into grps. Wy n me same grp. In 后弈!! :D
my grp consist of: yinhao, pingdong, huizhen, qingyun, lynnette, melody, keryn, jialin, shiying, ziyun, jiasen, yangyi, yongcheng, guanju, jiayi, zhiqi, zheyuan, wy n me!
Our gl are: 欣盈，育才 n 孙子兵法！Haha.I saw 凯凯 ^-^ yay!
played some 'ice-breaking' games. Which is quite lame.Cheering n so on.
Thn went on to the lecture theatre for a talk.
Rly not much fun on first day.
But i absolutely hate it when we have to walk from e lc building back to our rooms! God knows how far is that -ö- worst still, gg uphill. Haha.
There's tis workshop called 剪纸. Ok ok.

Second day:
had a talk in the morning. If i am not wrong, by 小函. Abt chinese pop songs. Lyrics writing etc. It was e ONLY talk which i paid full attention! ;) interesting talk.
Thn we oso had e 2nd workshop called面塑. Made penguins =D Hahaha. Super funny. Mine like every part of it is out of proportion. Nvm, art nia ~
Thn played outdoor games in order to earn 'CCC money' for the auction for weapons needed in our skit.
Got real real wet in the first station -.-" special tnx to the gals (: esp jialin n keryn who hugged me in order to cover me up ;)
Lol. 甲骨问- we had no idea wad word is tt,
比手画脚- totally enthu wif the chinese pros in our grp(huizhen, qing yun)，
2 in 1足球- paired up wif wy. Totally disaster. Haha :P，
采破气球比赛- other grp de ppl really kiong ah! N they targeted me T.T
Thn finally the 晚宴！food was nice ^-^ n e auction was fun. Totally wild. Haha. We had too much money ~ nice one.
In the end, we bought e 沙憎的武器n孙悟空的 hat.
Shouted like nobody's business during the Cheer fight.

third day:
learnt how to make mooncakes ~ the skin of my mooncakes too thick :x *vomit* revolting. Haha. Thn i gave one to cousin. He was shocked. Lols.
Thn preparation for skit.I am 猪八戒！MuaHahaha. So cute xD
the plot was Abt how e fake monkey was differentiated frm e real one. Ya, my stomach was aching by the tym we finish discussing the plot. Too funny. Haha.
We did a great job. I meant it!
Thn showed us pictures 筹委 took these 3 days, 凯凯 one of them i tink? O.o Thn closing ceremony. Cheering for the last tym tgt n exchange of hugs. N grp photos. Lalala. Some of them were getting emotional. Lols. Touchin moment (:
Thn homesweethome.

这个夏天不一young! :D

nxt tym thn post pictures (:

2009-06-08T02:47:00.000-07:00

Back from star camp le ^-^ OMG can, e place. Worst Thn i expected? Lols. Theme is abt pirates. Ok ok la. The past camps much more fun lo! Plus, got some juniors er *those hu noe 'll noe*. Sian lo. N super tired too. Went home n slept 11hours -ö- 9am-8am. Lols. Good thing out of tis camp is, i tried e high elements! ^-^ i srsly nvr try before lo, in e past i wanted to, but no chance. Thrillin. Thn i oso got down the sea *beams* special tnx to kevin and jess hun :D from tis camp, i learnt tt Nth is better thn homesweethome. Haha.

Ytd went out whole day. Spent it in Tampines 1. Or rather Tampines area. Shiok can. Thn met up of xiao jiu n his wife. Lalala.

Lol. Jus back frm camp, bt Tmr need go another camp -.- hope tis camp 'd be much btr. Got nice toilets. MuaHahaha.

hate all my frens. Bcoz they like to gimme half stories. Mayb except for patricia ba.. Rest of them. Tsk. I dun like to tell half stories, nor do i like to listen to half stories. What's e pt of starting when u dun want to tell me the ending? To make me seem like a despo begging for the ending? To torture me? To derive happiness on seeing me sad? Worst still, they esp like to give sad half stories abt myself. Begging u now, stop forcing me into all this agony. U nvr noe wad endings i come up for you. You nvr noe how it is Gg to ruin my life. I noe u all dun care, but take it tt i am begging you. Bcoz wad u all told me is abt me, not other ppl.

No matter how hard i try, nothing is going to change.

Tears aint gg to do me good, but they just keep coming.

还要多辛苦？还能够掩饰多久？

rest assure, i m not suffering over issues of bgr. I aint tt stupid. Tnx to *gal*, i srsly tink tt love aint worth tt much (: i cn do much better wif it. Lols. So well, to those entangled in e love web, dun be too jealous of me! :D Anw, i came to tis realisation for a long tym le, jus tt i forget to post post. haha. At least as i am typing for tis paragraph, i am smiling (: bcoz i noe of a lot ppl suffering. MuaHahaha. I am so bad! Lalala

back to sad stuff

最近，你变得很恐怖. Jus Cnt get e words out of my head.

super random pics

2009-06-03T07:19:00.000-07:00

finally got my hands onto the laptop =.= lols. oh well, hols are fun ^-^ muahahaha. loking forward to star camp (: anw, natalie n tianxiao. when r we gg to have our andersonpepperlunch outing?!

tag replies:
eileen : linked :D

peilin: lol. imy nanny!! n np. hope u like the present >.<

janet: tnx soooo much. yea. btr days ahead!!! ^-^

sharlene: OMG!! u spammed. hahas. thanks (: lols. tnx for being there for me. u r rly a great hun. loveyou lots. i wan IKEA!! hahas. though i will be gg anoher tym wif nat they all. lols.

yiying: hahas. i tink f wq n his life alr cheer up le. can. enuf for me to laugh whole day ~ hahahaha. i will stay strong de. lols. i grow up still wan to poen up a chain of western dumpling shops :P

natalie: lols. kimbum hubby/jiro dear/aaron boyfren love eemin wifey/dear/galfren.

julee: ps ps. link le :D haha.

lalala. smiles (:

2009-05-23T03:32:00.000-07:00

yoyoyo. got back my mye results le (: not good at all. bt thn i will improve de :D anw, i rly tried my er half best ba, tis tym. the other half wasnt triggered ... nxt tym!!! hahas. doubt star n mum will be able to understand this. onli ms lim cn understand ba ^-^ actually, i am indirectly insulting other.... lols

lalala.

thinking.

you are not tinking. you are escaping.

i am not.

wake up.time to wake up.

ugh. i am fully awake. u r giving me a headache :X

just don wan you to continue like this.

the more u tok, the more adamant i am.

you are going to regret it.

whatever.

hmm.. voices within me. contradicting,

2009-05-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

exams over. bt no mood to post anythig for now. jus recieved a rather wtf news tis morn.

betrayed. once again. betrayed and oso abandoned 4 times over 2 weeks. numb. really numb le. wad the fuck frens are for? i am sorry to stereotype frens bcoz o 3 of them. sorry. just cnt help it. srsly. cn i scold vulgarities? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ok. just a few sentences. -wtf wrong problem wif u bitch? u tink u his --- i wnt scold? u tink u wad? wtf. dun act cute can. u tink u betray me is nth wrong? ugh. u wan me tell whole world wads wrong between u n him? u c can do it, so can i. hope u two 'd have a fucking ending. aww. i am LOL. lalalala.- done!

contemplating. shld i go sci centre?

td LC n E math totally ruined. mood totally despondent. i realsie one thing. my frens noe wad i dun like bt they consistantly remind me of it. lo. my inferiority complex took the better of me ytd. 3/4 of the time i was brooding over sth. hais.

i onl have myself to blame.

2009-05-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

hais... last day of exam le... speechless. time really flies.

i cnt take it anymore. i hate using computers. and gg online. bcoz i will bound to c things i dun wan to. i will bound to be hurt by whatsoever stuff i c. i cnt believe my eyes. i admit. ya, i am sad. thn? idk. i wan to cry. bt i cnt cry.

i promised myself.
i willed myself.
no matter what,
even when the sky falls,
even when my time i coming up,
i
won't
cry.
but..
i did.
once again,
i broke down.
this is the umptenth time.
countless times i cried in long dark nights.
gimme a break
i tried to break free away
away from the forces of emptiness.
but i can't run far
as it is too strong
it will bind me back.
does anyone know what i am going through now?
not a single soul
i don't call myself a soul
it disintergrated long ago.
i am tired.
tired of hearing
tired of seeing
tired of feeling
'coz i lost my senses long ago.
this time,
i am tired of being tired.

it's gonna be a never ending cycle which will squeeze the dryest blood out of me.

everyone is too absorbed in their matters to see mine. and everyday i had to encourage others when i am breaking down inside too.

envy - the pain you will have to go thru when u see others ownin sth you badly want
jealousy - the pain you will have to go thru when u see others with sth you alr had.

2009-05-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

backed frm genting ^-^ will post abt it later? guess after exams. too long le. not free to post now. lols.

i m v.happy aft this genting trip. bt thn...

把他列成千古罪人，那我呢？我还不是罪魁祸首。我真的很想把一切的一切怪罪于他，但是我知道事实不是如此，一切都是因为我。作出所有选择的人是我，而他只是用来掩盖我的失误。

mistakes and mistakes and mistakes. that's wad i have been doing. mistakes lead to mistakes. i tried to cover up for the mistake, and end up making another mistake. likewise, a pack of lies. a lie lead to another lie. bcoz we have to cover up for the previous lei. it's going to be a never ending cycle and soon i would be driven to the end by guilt.

all i really wanted to is get things right, bt each step i take, it become worst.

i dream of a tiny cottage, by the country side, with wonderful scenery of whatsoever ---, all alone myself or maybe with someone.... tt's wad i want. mayb not a tiny cottage coz it sounds impossible. bt anything tt would keep me away frm all these these these these these. idk wad 'these' are.... i just wanna enjoy life... n be happy...

2009-05-05T00:36:00.000-07:00

ps. ytd post is not me. LOL. bt i delete e wad ever mid-yr thingy le. anw, i have nth heartbreaking to speak of (: bt whatevr i didnt delete is i post de la.

sian sian sian.

totally screwed up today's chinese paper1. it's a sure fail i guess. anw, i am all ready for it. jus now i was like quite hyper, nw idk y, dispirited. wt.

oh god. i m crazy le. studies studie studies

i will never 重色轻友. jus being random.

2009-05-04T00:44:00.000-07:00

tt's all i want to say. u'll never understand.

2009-05-03T02:22:00.000-07:00

finally get to blog -.- lols.

went out to study wif anjh. damn. tt manger in the advetisment who said : customers are like my family... ' dun allow us study ther! wtf . thn went to kfc. -.- we like spent almost 15 dolar lazi elab.

ytd got ss remedial >.< was late bcoz i went to mac wif farahin n nurul ^-^ lols. thnaft got a math. i nvr go. tmr got make-up de. i requested for one. muahahaha

thn went to mac wif kaiqin first. wanying met us aft a math. lols. kaiqin tot us some amaths ques thn wy n kq went home. -.- thn peilin they all sit wif me lol qianhui go prank my sister. hahaha. i love my seniors! esp PEILIN n WEINI nanny<3s small kid lalalala. srsly, mac's cupcorn sucks. lesson leraned frm qh n pl. stayed ther frm 11 am to 4pm. !! i am so hardworking :P i saw jovina!!!! she said hi to me -O-

2009-04-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

i dun wish to be tied dwon by anything. esp frenship. tt's the worst scenario i can think of. n oso love. studies is stressing the f--- out of me. i had no chioce over whether studies cold tie me down or not. it is thren hadto acceot it. i an opt out of fenship and definitely love. i just feel that this way my life is happier. though i am very willing to change for -. thn again, not really. just dun wan to think of anything else le. jus wannna be happy. simple yet complicated.

i am no doubt at the end of my tether now. been screaming at ppl for these two days. just hope malay exam cn get the hell out of my life tmr. will be glad to do anything just to get it out of my exploding head now. gosh. i cnt breathe. literally. not asthma though.

cool down. shitto. may god or whoever forgive me for entertaining such thoughts. cant hold it any longer. saw it, n i wanted to break down if not for the account my family is still wide awake. i tot. i tot. i tot. in the end, i am just deceiving myself. i hate myself. curiosity kills the cat and it is killing me now. damn. just thn, i realise, i duno some of my frens le. or not some. is a lot.

Y. Q. P. K. H. J. X.

and they dun me either. forget it. i shall not even try to get to noe hu they are. tired of all this. i nvr tot once biten twice shy could be applied on lau ee min. bt it did. though i was bitten a dozen times. all this stress is getting me nowhere but hell.

i fed her to the wolve. how worst can i get?

wanted to find some ppl to tok to, bt like i mentioned, idk hu they r anymore. e world is gg on a revolution. all of a sudden, i se strangers not my frens. i believe they feel the same way too. i admit i 've changed. for the worst. and i m not gg to do anyhting abt unles sth happens. n it ;ll happen 25000000 yrs later. so well.

i won't cry. it is just a small matter. forget about it.

2009-04-26T00:21:00.000-07:00

had our celebration on last fri (: it was fun lol. played number games wif weini n looxin thn punishment is to perform a sexy whatever dance. LOLS! thn me n looxin tio sia. bt we nvr rly danced tt dance. we danced tango :P hot. hahaha. thn we n weini go concoct a new drink aka food. - smashed rice + onion + kelly + fruit juice + chilli. cool man. i lost e game. ate one spoonful of it. totally revolting. n refreshing. HAHA. thn ltr wenqiao lost n he manged to ate 3 spoons of it. -O- so OMG lo. wnt be surprised if he suffers frm diarhorrea. thn aft tt mr wong n CO members went to play bball. betted lots of things cn. lulu n housefly become his slaves. hahas. huisiang n fangying almost had to bgr for one yr. HAHAHAHA. funny. n fun (: thn went to kfc to slack >.< lalala. thn home sweet home ^-^

saw sat ong ytd on the road. n he said hi. n end of story. bt thn isnt it contracdicting? frens u have known n stayed wif for yrs may not say hi to u bt frens tt u have lost contact for many yrs cn actually be so frendly? come to think of it, i hadnt seen him for long tym le.though not v.long la. lols. he still v.cute sia. n shuai! haha. mixture of small boy n man ... sian.. slacking at home. lalala.

ready to put in all for a relationship... but it wouldnt be for me.

to u-know-hu-u-r-and-if-u-happen-to-c-this-post, he wont see my presence. MUAHAHAHAHA.

2009-04-21T06:39:00.000-07:00

post one lil thing thn go sleep le

So you think your cello sucks, but give it to Slava, or Yo-Yo, or poor Jaqueline were she still with us…would it suck in their hands? The music is you, fellow players, and only you…not the machine. Sure cellos have lives, immortal. You are simply passing through its life and every time you pick it up, you have to live up to its immortality and potential…all that it has seen or will see…get with it and play like you mean it…every time

i oso dun quite understand bt i understand a bit la. v.meaningful.

I IDOLISE JACQUELINE DU PRE!!

2009-04-21T05:53:00.001-07:00

Tmr SYF le o.O nervous! Oh god. 3 yrs passed so Fast. Cnt believed it…

Lalala. Wish us luck peeps. Though we r gonna do it with our capability !!!

Omg. So touched by the sms ppl send me to tell me jiayou. Bcoz I v.scared ma. First tym leis!! LOLS. Yea. First and last time. Totally agree wif wad minjia said. Smiles (: I love u guys so much <3s

Finally….

2009-04-20T06:15:00.000-07:00

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. WE CAN DO IT!

god. cn anyone stop lau ee min from gg crazy? she's either too happy or too sad. choose one for her n she would gladly stick to it.

i am crazy. crazy. crazy. crazy. lalala. bt thn i choose for myself le. happy (: lol. surprisingly, i choose to be happy -O- omg. cnt believe i just said tt. it came out of my mouth. from my pessimistic thinking!! LOLS!bt anw, happy always =)

dun tink i cn post tmr. mr wong say cannot on9 -.- haha. anw, he dun noe my hotmail rtie? ;P hehe..

当局者迷。善良的人往往在被辜负之后，还失去了自信心，没检讨对方，也跟对方来刺痛自己，研究起自己的缺点来。

拿得起，放得下. bye bye. bcoz i just realise i dun need you. all i need is me. so sorry.

SO, cn anone tok to me? lols. offer urself up. sounds so wrong. gah, syf on wed. gambate!! whoo lala.

i am happy. still happy. and i will cont to hold onto this happiness.......

2009-04-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

sian... now doing star project -.- lols. as usual, i cnt resist blogging <3s love it too much. now blog shopping. lalala.

omg. one week pass damn fast can. syf coming le *boom boom* lols. jiayou everyone!

No more tears =) promised. N i 'll do it. But wad i meant is onli till wed i shall not cry. After tt, i sure 'll de. Haha. Jiayou!

so damn touched cn!! hahas.

JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. =) ok. i will go find my nannies if i stressed le. haha. lalalalala.

for once, i am not sad. muahahaha. power of cello xD

bt jus let me post some stuff, a bit emo de. hehe...

Wad's e problem wif ppl nowadays? Affected by e financial crisis, thn lyk tis oso feel u suffer alot -.- Wth. Tok lyk It's e end of e world! It's lyk i have been living in tis pathetic situation for 10 years n did u c me complaining?! Or crying?! Grow up man. 15 yrs old le. I jus cnt take it when ppl r far off better thn me, n still whining away. Serves them right. Serves them right for not wanting to face the harsh reality when they should. Was i given a chance to react anythiin when e world came crashing down on me ten yrs ago?

finished (: got it off my chest. lala.

Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless
I wish I could be
So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight
I fake a smile so he won't see

but, tis tym, i shall not fake one, i need not fake one, i am left with a real one. finally. i am smiling.

2009-04-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

eng........ presented today. mdm priya av me tt u-r-sick look -.- zz. bt anw, i got alot of ppl onto tt book ^-^ damn interesting cn! haha

hell training agian for CO prac. my efforts paid of!!!! xD v.v.v.v.v.happy. must jiayou! lalala

tmr got chem test -.- i v.tired leis......... hais.. hvn study yet ._. greeeaaat.

if u r not tired, i am. somehow, i m rly rly tired. bcoz i have no sense of presence. n does he even noes tt he is he? (...)

pluck up ur courage n tok to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-13T06:15:00.000-07:00

sian............ dun wish to update this public blog xP haha. bt i love y blog waaaaaaaaaaay tooooooooooooo much to neglect it (:

hmmmmmmm..... napha test, god dun mention it -.- @#$%^&*

thursday skipped sch simpl bcoz i too tired to go :P anw, i am oso having a terrible headache. coincidence xD

today mdm p nvr come to sch today :( LOL. e most interesting lesson of the day cn! syafie n angel lemme c a stor the wrote abt -.- they r totally sick. just lyk me ^-^ thn we crap abt angelica <> HAHAHA. ANJELICA GOH AI LING. U R MY ANGEL(: lmao

aft sch, went to CO. devil training. hell. wth. exhausted. n my fingers hurt. ouh. n today i feel totally worthless. stupid. idiot. fool. feel lyk sreaming cn u just shut the fuck up. obviously u cnt c i m trying my bery best n u r still pushing me!

somtimes, sensitivity kills.

2009-04-10T04:14:00.000-07:00

i am going crazy!!!!

EEMIN IS A SELFISH GAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JENGAN DEKAT!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-08T02:18:00.000-07:00

sth obscene(though nt rly)is takiing place behind me -.- dun wan turn my head back. though i rly wanted to. gosh. v.tensed up. hahaha. thn now tianxiao come in my room to spoil the mood. bye bye.

hmmm.. to -- : nt tt i wan to invite u into my personal blog. is jus tt inside got sth cnt let u c. all i cn tell u is tt ppl keep comparing me wif u. n tt is v.depressing.

i waited for years for today =DD hahaha. omg. v.happy cn. muahahaha.

i am not fit to be a fren. i am a 'fren' who onli remind another fren tt she is not treating her grp mates well? i am a 'fren' tt scold my fren, cursed her? when i tot she insulted me bt it is all an misunderstanding. i am a 'fren' who dun fit to be a fren. n 'll nvr have a fren n 'll nvr be a fren.

sorry.

cry baby, coz this is your fate.

2009-04-06T06:48:00.001-07:00

my private blog's url : http://www.felicity-music.blogspot.com

todays napha test was hell. e feel not there le la. hahas. my standing broad jump!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf. damn me cn.

hyper (: today get back physics - 18/25 thoiugh not v.good, bt i improved (: frm 55 to 72, muahahaha. oso got to know my a math results. imporved also!!! xD bt nvr meet my target la -.- nxt tym must do btr! ya! n bio test +D whoo. least test i got 50. tis one i got 85. omg. hyper liao. lalalala. thoguh not good al, bt e pt is tt i improved -O- hahas. my efforts paid off.

slap me.

2009-04-04T21:12:00.001-07:00

Hey peeps,

Yesterday's post was just a mistake on my part.
Drey did not say i am a desperate or flirt.
It's just all an misunderstanding!
Please don't get the wrong impression of her!
sorry for all the trouble caused!
Please really really don't think bad of her.

Dreys,

I am really really really super duper sorry.
I trusted others too implicitly.
I am such a let-down.
Sorry that i hurt you.
I really really got carried away because i thought you said all those, until i found out that i was the mean one.
I should have trusted our friendship.
Sorry, that day i wasn't talking about what you thought i was talking.
So sorry.

2009-04-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

ppl invited to my personal blog:
kevin
syafie
qisong
farida
yvonne
cherlyn
charles

2009-04-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

yo yo yo! xD

common test week o.O finally over!!! whoo. these days slept @ onli 2pm -.- wahahaha. so proud, yet i m damn damn x infinity tired. i hope tt all these hard work comes rwarded wif my results (:

hmmmmmm... ytd go do ic in sch, omg. my pic sxz. wonder how m i gg to live wif tt shiity face of mine :'( it would me a matter of tym when i will go crazy man looking @ the pic -.-

o.O overheard some ppl's conversation.. thn found out tt i m desperate n i act lyk a flirt. lol. will elab further on in my personal blog (: go c go c. haha. onli some ppl cn c. there, i cn say whatever i lyk. lalala.

i keep tellin myself.. dun stoop down to her level. hold ur cool baby. soon, u will be gg to ur personal blog. unlesh everything there. not here.

i m totaly speechless. when i jus want to stand up for myself, i realise i cnt do anything @ all.

srsly, i cried. not bcoz of whatever ppl said, bt bcoz of wad -hanging xx to......- said.

p.s, the 'he' i refering to, i dun lyk him ho whoever noes hu he is. jus cry bcoz he make me seem so...................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................... .................................. i srsly cnt find a word.

2009-04-01T02:12:00.001-07:00

forlorn. i m sad.

2009-03-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

Lalala. Aft wad seems lyk finally, i can update le :D

hmmm.. Cut my fringe to bangs >.<>< Oso quite suprised how my hair turn out quite straight lo. But grow long le 'll curl de D: Zz. I wan grow long thn cut back to side fringe!! Sian. Ppl say i got japanese style ._. @!#%* ugh. Totally disgusted.

Aft school, went to geypoh kfc wif nat n sandra to study. Thn Ltr on joined by Julee, liyoke n rebecca ^-^ crap abt farenheit. Hahaha. Aaron n jiro ~ LOL. Nw just beside me xP muahahaha

oh god, please say tt again. Haha. Whoo Lala. All of a sudden, i tink Syafie v.gØõÐ (: heh.. SYAFIE IS THE NICEST GUY EVER. Hahaha

went to library wif yvone n cher cher on sat ^_^ whoo lala. we shld have more outings like tis (:

lol. vv.cute rite? dk hu is he cute one hu go arrange the bks till lyk tis. haha.

i must smile even if it hurts so much. smile baby smile

2009-03-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

Thurs.. CO combinne prac >< aft tt, went to burger king wif nat, anjh, farahin, pat n eeling. Gah. Shldn't have choosen bk double rendang :X not nice

fri.. CO combined n sect prac. Zz. I was l8. Reached arnd 10:30am thn aft tt, at 11 we were released! -.- i tot 1pm thn release lo!! If not, wouldn't have turned up for e prac. Aft tt, went to kfc eat wif wy, Tianxiao, kq. Thn kq n i went to jurongvillesec to c e CO prac there. Reali reali good lo them! n i saw jacqi too xDxD

Sat.. Went to e opening of top beauty whatever salon. N cut my hair =D Lol.

mon! First day of term 2 ^-^ lol. Ms lim n mdm priya nvr come. Thn aft school, went 'tuition' xP LOL.

today!! thanks so much fren xD i mean -- hu helped me chnge the --p. haha. lalala

so hyper seh me. lols! lalala. first tym i m lyk siao crazy lo in my post. hahahahaha. just cnt stop laughing. *bleh* hahahaha. i crazy liao. whoo!! hyper happy crappy xP lalalalalala. cn anyone stop me frm laughing? hahas.

I concede defeat. I am totally ashamed of my thinking. I should be. Now, i am awed. We are far behind them. It's their spirit which puts them in front of us.

hmmm.. I m suffering frm masochism. Though i m not really suffering. Haha

2009-03-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

whoo! finallly cn update le ^-^ thursday.. worst day of the week :( Not that i choose to be unhappy everyday. Is unhappiness that managed to catch up with me no matter how fast i run or fly. Ytd's incident is yet another evidence of my inefficiency in handling tasks given to me. Yet another prove that whatever i do is worthless, useless. This is getting me nowhere. I really tried my best. But still mistakes have to crop up. I am very tired already, and yet this had to happen. Life is really a joke on me. Ya, i should cry. I can only have myself to blame. And oso, what happened yet again showed me the cruelness of this reality world, yet again reminded me that it doesn't pay to be a kind soul. Things had to happen all at a go isn't it? Ytd was one perfect example. I am tryin my best. Very very best. But just tinkin of all tt had happened ytd, esp the scolding part, i had to let free my tears. Somehow, everything in me is tired. In the past, i m just worn out. Now, i m reali fatigued, inside out. I can feel my heart wrenching. When is all this going to stop? It's really really painful. I see no hope in doing so much and in the end, gettin nth positive in return. N instead, negatives. fri... nth much happen? oh yea. nice discussion wif jess @ mt lesson >.< yea. i m pro-choice for american values to be implanted in singapore. singaporeans too conservative le? lol. hope my blog wnt be spammed :P lalala sat... JSS CULTURAL NITE CONCERT!! fun? haha. nice. bt thn someone came to get tic frm me thn still use a veri what-the-hell tone tell me faster. zz. i tried my best to run le lo. ._. * i m nt tokin abt mr zhong hor* i tink my performance still cn be btr de. jiayous! next challenge: SYF! sun.. went to chinatown again~ almost gg there on a weekly basis? lol. thn at nitewent to marina barrage ^^ e nite scenery is so damn nice lo. thn tot i saw -? lols. idk.

sat... JSS CULTURAL NITE CONCERT!! fun? haha. nice. bt thn someone came to get tic frm me thn still use a veri what-the-hell tone tell me faster. zz. i tried my best to run le lo. ._. * i m nt tokin abt mr zhong hor* i tink my performance still cn be btr de. jiayous! next challenge: SYF!

sun.. went to chinatown again~ almost gg there on a weekly basis? lol. thn at nitewent to marina barrage ^^ e nite scenery is so damn nice lo. thn tot i saw -? lols. idk.

Mon.. Slack at home lo.

Tues.. Went out wif pat n josephine >.< aft tt, josephine left. Thn me n pat went t sci centre there de mac to eat and study. Thn did some observation :P YEW! History tutorial ~ hÀHÁ. Funny sia. E way i stared at.... LOL. Thn we saw Jss media club ppl. Nth lo. Oh ya. Saw aaron too. Kq's fren >.<

wed.. At first wan go jp de. But thn no one go wif. Thn i saw CHUNG XUE NI at e busstop xD tok crap (: wad else? Haha. Went t her hse n ate porridge? Lol. Boastin myself throughout xP Haha. Thn ask her how Jvs ppl r doing lo. Thn home sweet home.

tag replies:
- syafie : wa.. tag so many. i call tt spamming ~ haha. tnx for tagging xD
-ying : relinked (:
-mengchuan : tnx for tagging >.<>
-wanqi : haha. tnx for tagging. (:
- alvin : ya lo. tsk tsk. nah. jus jk >.<
- cherlyn :awww.. honey. tnx so much *sob* i oso miss u soo much <3ssssss
- yvonne : ya rite. u r a auntie!!! undeniable fact xD lols. for my own good. sia. i miss u too (:
- E : wad thing familiar? haha =D

Sometimes, when you put on a mask for too long, you will forget what's the real side of you. I forgot who am i....

So what if he is repentant? God knows what he is thinkin. I think the punishment is too light for him. What th f. He's a downright bastard. He deserves to die. Ya rite. Seekin for medication, er, tis trick won't work. Srsly, she is too stupid to believe you. Pity her. If i ever get to see his face again, i will rip him. Cnt believe he was given a third chance. What's justice? Dun tell me what he did n his consequences were justice. They don't care, but what abt them? Srsly, i think the death sentence shld be the only way out can he redeem his wrongdoings. He's a fucker.

I know the truth. Yet i still continuously find some way to be reminded of this painful truth. I am outta my mind.

2009-03-11T05:53:00.000-07:00

有人曾说,治疗伤痛唯一的办法就时间.时间是什么?时间就是漫天飞雪,无论繁华或凄凉,最终都被遗忘掩埋. 流光容易把人抛,红了樱桃,绿了芭蕉.

cancelled ALL invitations to my private blog. bcoz no one gives a damn abt it.

2009-03-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

hmm.. today quite ok day. mr ng nvr come. studied malay test n oso copied bio notes. th eg esson best ah! everyone acting guai guai reading book. thn lyk got a lo tension le, sudenly anjlica stood up n said : ok, class, emrm.. i forgot to tell u mdm priya not coming today.. it's like so damn OMG u noe. eveyone was lyk erm.. cheering = booing. hahas. saya keyawa terbahat-bahat. lol. dk whether i used malay correct anot ><

i was looking for myself. n i found a demon in me. i was lyk goddam bad u noe. veri veri bad. hais.. bt i realised i wasnt quite hurt these few days wif the demon me... t the feeling is not nice. reali. but all i wantedis to proctect myself. reali didnt mean to hurt anyone i swear. hreby, i apologise to my dearest wanying. i m reali reali sorry, thses few days i m quite bad. self-centered, selfish. so sorry.

hais.. wher m i? idk who i m now. i m turning onto someone idk hu. nn someone who i loathe most. i mus be outa my mind. but i reali cnt stop it. i feel so damn miserable inside tt i found no way to express it. n thn, i feel i m living for others. reali. what th.. hais.. i must as well be dead. i wanted to.. bt i dun dare to.. i m such a coward. bt i cn do it provided someone give me poison, or i stand at the edge n ask someone to push me down the building. bt kinda impossible uh..

It's fear who keeps one frm reachin the ultimate boundary.

2009-03-07T00:40:00.000-08:00

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels

The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.

2009-03-06T00:28:00.000-08:00

ytd almost drove ms wong to tears. or i tink she did cry? kind of pity her. aft all, this was her first lesson in her teaching carrer? n it was destroyed by 3-4. ROARS. sad for her.. bt she oso quite ridiculous la.. go confiscate y planner -.- bt got return la. hope nxt lesson cn be btr (:

todays e math test... i m gg to flunk xD lalala. expected de la.

i feel so damn fuckin irresponsible for my results. :( wad hv i been doing? skipping lessons, not handing up hmw, not paying attention in class. wad have i became? it's lyk i m practially destroying my life? n i noe it. n i m continuing it. wad the.. this fucking attitude of mine. i have got to stop it. ugh. i reali reali wan to stop it! bt a part of me tells me tt it is ok, coming up wif damn excuses. gosh, tis is driving me crazy. i m losing myself. not onli in academic, bt in everything. i lost myself. i duno where the goddamn hell i m.

i lost you.

2009-03-03T23:52:00.000-08:00

sian..

let the lyrics do the tokin.......

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not
I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
Just enjoy the show
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
dum de dum
dudum de dum
Just enjoy the show
dum de dum
dudum de dum
Just enjoy the show
I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show
I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

dun give me anything. bcoz i dun noe how to let go...

2009-03-03T05:46:00.000-08:00

Lalala. Sian.

i m self centered. Happy?

i simply looooooooove my new blog song <3s whoo lala

How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.
Nor can I ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.(My thoughts you can't decode)
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well,
yeah.But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well,
yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.
There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.

2009-03-01T22:52:00.000-08:00

lalala. finaly updated >< lols. in sch. stucked. raining. ps, today somehw idk how t construct sentences. hahas.

last fri sports day ^-^ went to imm wif nat n tx after tt. did some crazy stuff. LOLS. onli WE noe wad we did uh. agree frens? lalalala.

thn on sat nite went out to eat. go to CHINATOWN just to eat MAC -.- stupid rite? my younger sis's idea. haha. saw loo xin n her family. lol. every sat i go out will c CO ppl de. last week is jingjing, mr wong n wenqiao n bukit timah. tis week is loo xin >< lol. nxt week?

cleared up my stuff. thn saw a dvd. 篮球火 ><>< watch it lo. n it's so damn nice!!! lols. hooked up on it (:

today time passed veri fast leis. dk y. thn to my amazement, i paid attention to all the lessons today. -O- so damn omg lo. lols. eemin listening in class wor. haha. but i so guai xP of coz larhss. heh...

wanted to put in blog song de. but sch ban imeem ._. so go home thn change. lalala.

i wish... i wish... i wish... all i wish.. but it is impossible... bt i wish i cn die, it would be possible isnt it?

2009-02-24T04:52:00.001-08:00

Today quite fun day. HAHAHA. Wif Syafie back ~ joked alot alot man. Firstly, abt his results. Hehe.. He got pranked =D Thn during a math lesson got wad palm reading. Thn we took turns to evaluate our palm. Hahas. Tok lots of crap sei. Syafie's gg t marry a very sexy woman xD which is anjelica!! XD HAHAHA. Sad. Mine n anjelica's quite straight ): Nvm. Dun believe can le. göØÐ göØÐ stuff thn believe. Heh.. Thn anjelica suddenly random say wad i veri sweet. Thn i joke say Syafie very sour. LOLS. Thn me n Syafie became sweet n soup ~~pork~~ chicken. HAHAHA. Nice name eh.. Phrase of the week: HAIL PRIYA !!! LOLS! Oso joke of the week man! We all took turns to write on anjelica's diary. Abt Mdm priya. Yea! Syafie love ----- 's buns. This statement like overdoing it so cant mention name. But i guess ppl noe who it is uh. Hahas. Srsly, Mdm priya is entertainment. Tis aint no life lo. Hail PRIYA! After school went to have tuition. Chapter by chapter teach lo (: chapt one finish le. LOLS! Will finish sec one book by nxt nxt week xD whoo! LäLåLà. Thn home sweet home. ><

today went to buy bubble tea.. cappuchino is loved ^-^ lols. thn i saw him... wanted to walk e direction de.. but see him thn quickly turn off n walk in opp direction -.- hais... i am veri sure is him lo. even if i not weaqring specs, oso noe. bcoz i like him too much le? lols. whatever. jus when i tot i coud end the first day of my new life peacefully, his appearance caused a swirl of emotions. hais.. actually, i rather he scold me lo thn encouraging me... scold me. scold me stupid idiot irritating or whatever. whatever ~

2009-02-19T03:33:00.000-08:00

sore throats are the bane of my existence. gosh. the damn sore throat :X what th f. zz.. thn i wanted to arguw e wif mum but end up losing it bcoz simply no voice to tok le -.- ugh.

no vocab test today >< ytd i lyk tell whole world got test thn everyone lyk booing lo. :( wth. someone pushed the blame to me. but nvm. thn sth happened today. idk larhss. sian.. still hvn get back our SH results ;( hais... i m gg to flunk bio =D lalala. reali lo. thn today for the last three lessons of the day i sat at jasper's place. apparently, a couple was sitting at me n syafie's desk :x what th.. but sitting wif sheih li quite good. :) i understood everything wif her help. lols. thn today got hmt compo wrting. e topics not nice to write one..

once my centre of existence
now bane of my existence

haiz.. i felt like an absolute fool. century fool. everyday i had been living in april fools' day.